A Web Of Lives genre: Six Degrees of Speculation
The emergence of the internet leads us to believe that we have seemingly rewritten the process of human connections. It provides dating and friend networks, blogging and chat rooms, and countless other places where distant people can presumably engage each other. The news is full of stories that chronicle both the successes and the horrors that result from these cable driven contacts. As I ponder these technological advancements, I suddenly find myself thinking back to the movie Midnight Cowboy. First released in 1969, it is the only x-rated movie to ever win the Academy Award for best picture.
It’s the story of a Texas hustler, Joe Buck, played by Jon Voigt, and a strung out New York con man, ‘Ratso’ Rizzo, played by Dustin Hoffman. These two very different men meet in New York City and become connected in their mutual pursuit to make it big. Each man’s desperation is the subtext of their alliance. It takes little time to realize that neither is prepared or able to navigate the cold and harsh terrain of this giant people eating metropolis. Four decades have passed since Midnight Cowboy created its groundbreaking buzz. Technology has virtually rewired the communication template. Yet as I ponder the differences, it is the similarities that catch my attention. Through it all, the essence of human connections remains complex, elusive and often ironic.
I can’t think about Midnight Cowboy without hearing or humming the song, Everybody’s Talkin’. The song and the story are linked and the symbiotic symbolism is no accident. The lyrics are appropriately prescient and timelessly accurate. The first verse of the song says, “Everybody’s talkin’ at me, I don’t hear a word they’re sayin’, only the echo’s of my mind. People stop and stare; I can’t see their faces, only the shadows of their eyes." The societal undertow of these words is the same today as it was in 1969. Whether it’s beneath the façades of Joe and Ratso or behind the computer screens of two individuals on Friendster.com, people are pursuing linkage through ever expanding catalysts for connection, yet they seem unable to find comfort, meaning, or fulfillment.
The numbers are startling - web logs, 27 million, MySpace.com, 65 million, Match.com, 42 million, Friendster.com, 20 million, eHarmony, 8 million, and Plaxo.com, 5.7 million. There are many more. At the same time, we live proximate to numerous people with which we barely communicate. What is it we seek in these distant connections with single dimensional images of far removed strangers transmitted across a tangled web rife with deceit and duplicity?
Like these two lost movie characters seeking fame and fortune while being devoured by each other and an unsympathetic world, we can’t seem to find what we need within ourselves or within those we know. We call out to distant others like lost lambs in search of solace only to be swallowed by the ravages of other starving wolves dressed in sheep’s clothing. Trapped in the empty canyons and caverns of our own existence, we are unable to find the hope or hear the words amidst the echoes that bounce off our hardened and heavy hearts and sink like stones into the oceans of our abyss.
When all is said and done, it’s our humanity that must connect us all. Whether that realization manifests itself in Joe and Ratso on a bus to Miami or in two lonely souls coming together on distant computer monitors, the need to find true connections remains constant. Through technology, we can improve the means of connecting, we can make more connections possible, and we can minimize the distance between connections, but only our actual humanity can make our connections productive, meaningful, and worthwhile. Humanity prevails when the relationships within our grasp are acknowledged and cultivated. This human story only ends well when we find comfort in our common weaknesses in order to illuminate the value of our connected struggles. Ironically, the “X" scribbled on a window at Ratso’s condemned tenement building serves to mark the judgments and stands to measure the miscalculations that plague the human condition. We each risk standing on that spot. If we stop to listen, no one needs stand there alone or be left behind.
Daniel DiRito | April 3, 2006 | 7:42 AM
Comments
1 On April 3, 2006 at 9:49 AM, jeremy wrote —
How true, how true! It seems like with all these ways to connect around us, authentic connection with another is more difficult than ever.
Perhaps it's because this avenue denies us so many channels of communication that the human body is used to. We are used to communicating with another not only with language, but with gesture, with touch, even with smell, or more intimately, with taste. There is something sublime about communicating so remotely, without all that, and I think it can reveal different aspects of ourselves which would never be shown otherwise. But in a way, our brains are journeying into outer space without the comforts of 'home'. The rewards are often fascinating and enriching, but they're no cup of hot chocolate by the fire.
That said, I have never seen Midnight Cowboy--now I'm going to go to Netflix and add it to my list! ;)
2 On April 3, 2006 at 12:52 PM, Daniel wrote —
Jeremy,
I think you're right that a lot is lost when the contact is remote. I personally find that I rely more on direct interaction to be able to ascertain any significant impressions or to make any substantive conclusions about other people.
At the same time, I'm reminded of the all too often experience we have when we are out and about driving in our vehicles. When another driver cuts us off or exhibits some other inappropriate behavior, we quickly make negative conclusions. I find that when I commit the same offense, I excuse it based upon my particular circumstances...and in truth I usually feel bad about what I have done...but I rarely conclude the same about the other drivers.
Interestingly, I've had the experience of getting upset with another driver before realizing it is someone I know...at the point of recognition I have felt like an ass...because by knowing the other person, I know enough about them to conclude it wasn't intentional or at the very least I can find some degree of empathy.
Anyway, your comments are insightful and much appreciated and I hope you enjoy the movie if you get a chance to see it.
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