Thought Theater

The War On Obscenity: "Project Vegga-Ban" genre: Hip-Gnosis & Tongue-In-Cheek

A South Carolina Republican is proposing legislation to ban the sale of devices that can be used for sexual stimulation. Digby has comments here, and the full article can be found here.

An unnamed source with Rep. Davenport's office has told Thought Theater that this piece of legislation is simply the tip (woops...my bad) of the iceberg. Davenport believes that in addition to the items found in these adult oriented stores, there is also a larger and more pervasive nationwide vegetable sex cult. The source indicates that a larger plan to attack this widespread obscene activity is in the works. The initiative is tentatively being called "Project Vegga-Ban".

The ambitious project seeks to completely eradicate all inappropriately shaped vegetables. The program will not stop with phallic shaped vegetables...melons, tomatoes and other such lewd and offensive shapes will not be tolerated. When Thought Theater pressed the source for enforcement details, we were told that Representative Davenport felt the first step would logically be to ban such vegetables from grocery stores.

When asked about plans to monitor large scale farming operations and backyard gardening, the source indicated the intention to place the Project under the oversight of the Drug Enforcement Agency. Davenport believes the Department's experience in illicit drug crop eradication will allow Project Vegga-Ban to quickly mobilize. The source admitted that it will be complicated to monitor the home gardener given the difficulty in confiscating the large supply of vegetable seeds. Few other details were made available.

Some excerpts from the article:

COLUMBIA — Lucy’s Love Shop employee Wanda Gillespie said she was flabbergasted that South Carolina’s Legislature is considering outlawing sex toys.

But banning the sale of sex toys is actually quite common in some Southern states.

The South Carolina bill, proposed by Republican Rep. Ralph Davenport, would make it a felony to sell devices used primarily for sexual stimulation and allow law enforcement to seize sex toys from raided businesses.

Rep. Davenport, who is from Spartanburg County, did not return several messages Friday to talk about his bill, which was introduced last month. No other legislator has signed on as a co-sponsor and its passage this year seems unlikely.