Thought Theater

Is Matt Murray DyingChild_65 & Sarah Chrstnnghtmr? genre: Do Not Resuscitate & Hip-Gnosis & Uncivil Unions

Rather that continue to update the prior posting, I've elected to create a new posting with a fourth and fifth update. I moved Update IV from the older posting so as to keep all the content related to Matthew's other possible online identities in one location.

UPDATE IV:

Editor's Note: The MySpace page linked below appears to have been taken down. At the moment, I do not know why the page has been disabled. Fortunately, I have screen shots of all of the content.

It appears that Matthew also had a MySpace page...although it was identified to be the page of "Sarah's Chrstnnghtmr". Looking at the page and reading through the writings, it coincides with many of the entries Matthew posted on other sites and the song playing on the page is "Mr. Crowley"...which ties back to many of his other postings as does the list of favorite music which includes Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, Slayer, Setherial, Deicide, Emperor, Naglfar, Marduk, Cradle of Filth, Cannibal Corpse, King Diamond, Mercyful Fate, Danzig, Mystic Circle, Shape of Despair, Dark Funeral.

She/He also lists favorite books which tie back to some of his entries at the other sites. Included in her/his list of books are 777, LIBER 220, LIBER XV, Liber ABA, LIBER 418, Liber 414, The Secret Doctrine, Isis Unveiled, Voice of the Silence, Long Hard Road Out of Hell - Marilyn Manson.

I found one particularly interesting entry on the MySpace page. It is an entry titled "Welcome To Our Christian Nightmare", and it appears to have been posted on June 5, 2006. What makes it so interesting is that it is the same story Matthew refers to in a posting at Ex-Pentecostal Forums. In that September 30, 2007 posting, he identifies the story as "A friends experience of growing up in The Nightmare" and explains it as follows:

"One of my friends wrote this. She was raised in a non-denominational/pentecostal+Charismatic household and church and is currently a young adult living on her own."

What is unclear is whether this is Matthew's story or actually a story about someone he may have known or someone...like Sarah...who he created to tell his story as a female...or to simply tell a fictional story (Matthew wanting to post his creative work). I took note of the fact that she/he refers to "Our" Christian Nightmare in the title of the entry. I suspect this wasn't an accident.

I also noticed that in Sarah's bio section, it states "Not Sure" in the section designated for sexual orientation. Sarah also notes she is a member of a group identified as "All Real Lesbians And Bisexuals & Beatiful (sp) Girls"...but the link doesn't seem to be working.

One of my first takes on this MySpace page ties back to another remark Matthew makes in an entry on one of the other sites. In that entry he muses, "What does it take to get laid?" (may not be an exact quotation). Perhaps Matthew thought he might be able to meet girls by posing as a "questioning" female? At the very least it seems like an avenue for an introverted 20 something male to try and expand his circle of acquaintances.

Part of me also suspects his plan included an anticipation that people would attempt to connect the dots he carefully laid out as part of what I would characterize as an elaborate alter-identity, alter-world which people would discover after his death. I'll need to ponder this further before making any definitive statement.

UPDATE V:

It seems that Matthew also posted comments at alt.suicide.holiday under the name "DyingChild_65". Many of the entries are the same ones he posted on other sites so I've only included two which I found to be significant. What struck me about the Dec 9 entry below is his reference to the documentary Jesus Camp.

For those who haven't seen it, the documentary focuses upon children who are sent to camp to become better soldiers of God. Ted Haggard is prominently featured in the piece which may assist in explaining how Matthew decided to target New Life Church. The fact that Matthew refers to Haggard as a favorite minister of his mother seems to support this argument.

I can't confirm if Matthew attended any such programs at New Life Church or any other location...though it wouldn't surprise me if he received this type of training at some point. Haggard's subsequent fall may have added to Matthew's growing disenchantment...a fact evidenced by the Nov 27 posting in which he lists a number of religious figures and then proceeds to assail them and their actions.

The Marilyn Manson video in the Nov 27 entry seems to support his growing sense of alienation...as well as his simmering anger at those who "fit in".

Nov 27, 2:30 am DyingChild_65 wrote:

Joyce Meyer, Peter Wagner, Ted Haggard, Jimmy Bakker, Jerry Falwell,
godhatesfags.org, Richard/Oral Roberts, James Dobson, John Bevere,
Tommy Tenny, Cindy Jacobs, Earl Paulk, Ken Ham, Heidi Baker/Iris
Ministries, John MacArthur, David Wilkerson, Paula White, Dave
Hunt/Berean Call, Kenneth Hagin, David Yonggi Cho, Charles Stanley, D
James Kennedy, Jan and Paul Crouch, Dutch Sheets, Benny Hinn, Paul
Cain, Tim Lahaye and all the Left Behind end times "Jesus is returning
soon!" bullshit, Chuck Pierce, Stan Johnson/Prophecy Club, Gary Ezzo,
Bill Gothard....and all the other televangelists and pastors, and
christian followers......

We see all these christians trying to force their beliefs,
pseudo-morality and bulls*** on everyone(usually for money and power),
telling everyone they need to "repent, send us money, and obey our
interpretations of the bible" so they can be let into heaven, have
their imaginary sins "forgiven" and not be sent to hell by their
"loving" pseudo-God.

Tell me, just like Marilyn Manson asks.....do you really want to go to
a place that's filled with a bunch of.... assholes?

Sorry but there's no such thing as heaven and hell nor "original sin."
Christians can't even figure out their own doctrines....they're still
arguing over whether or not you can lose your "salvation" or not.
Christians can't even agree on whether or not Christian Contemporary
Music is a sin or whether or not to "speak in tongues"
plus......there's a gazillion different versions of how Jesus is going
to return and whether there's even a rapture or not.........

The worst slave of all is the prick who indulges openly in no
pleasures at all in order that he may be considered "virtuous" or
"respectable" and these Christians who "have religion" / "a relationship
with God" and want to see every one else in the same deplorable state
of senile decay so that they may not feel quite so much out of place
in the world.......

These are fools that men adore; both their Gods & their men are fools.
Come forth, o children, under the stars, & take your fill of love!
I am the Snake that giveth Knowledge and Delight and bright glory, and
stir the hearts of men with drunkenness. To worship me take wine and
strange drugs whereof I will tell my prophet, & be drunk thereof! They
shall not harm ye at all. It is a lie, this folly against self. The
exposure of innocence is a lie. Be strong, o man! lust, enjoy all
things of sense and rapture: fear not that any God shall deny thee for
this.

Despise also all cowards; professional soldiers who dare not fight,
but play; all fools despise!
But the keen and the proud, the royal and the lofty; ye are brothers!

The key of joy is disobedience

"We will no longer be oppressed by the fascism of christianity"

Dec 9, 9:34 am DyingChild_65 wrote:

thank you to all you christians who've made me this way....you've
added to the rage........I'm just so full of hate now and I love
it............forcing all your religious bullshit down my throat all
these fuckin years with your dominionist christian agenda....like in
Jesus Camp.....well...the abuse ends NOW.........give me one good
reason why I should show ANY mercy and compassion for ANY of you
idiots........you christians never showed me any mercy nor
compassion.........
me, I still believe in a loving God....but not the christian god who
is full of hate....and never did anything at all all these years while
I've cried out for answers for spiritual truth.......your christian
God never did one thing about any of the abuse me and my christian
friends went through..........why the f*** should I care about any
morals?

Mankind in his insatiable search for divine
Knowledge has discarded all biblical teachings
Realizing that the strength of religion is the repression of
knowledge
All structures of religion have collapsed
Life prays for death
in the wake of the horror of these revelations
It was never imagined how graphic the reality that would
be known as the end of creation would manifest itself
We believe all this chaos and atrocity can be traced
Back to one single event.....

We hold these truths to be painfully self-evident
All men are not created equal
Only the strong will prosper
Only the strong will conquer
Only in the darkness of Christ have I realized
God Hates Us All!!!!!!

Drones since the dawn of time
Compelled to live your christian sheltered lives
Not once has anyone ever seen
Such a rise of pure hypocracy
I'll instigate I'll free your mind
I'll show you what I've known all this time

God Hates Us All!!!!! God Hates Us All!!!!
You know it's true God hates this place
You know it's true he hates this race

Homicide.......Suicide
Hate heals, you should try it sometime
Strive for Peace with acts of war
The beauty of death we all adore
I have no faith distracting me
I know why your prayers will never be answered

God Hates Us All; God Hates Us All
He Fuckin' hates me
Pessimist, Terrorist targeting the next mark
Global chaos feeding on hysteria
Cut throat, slit your wrist, shoot you in the back fair game
Drug abuse, self abuse searching for the next high
Sounds a lot like hell is spreading all the time
I'm waiting for the day the whole world @#%$ dies

I never said I wanted to be God's disciple
I'll never be the one to blindly follow!!!!!

Man made virus infecting the world....
Self-destruct human time bomb
What if there is no God would you think the fuckin' same
Wasting your life in a leap of blind faith
Wake the @#%$ up can't ignore what I say
I got my own philosophy
I hate everyone equally
You can't tear that out of me
No segregation -separation
Just me in my world of enemies
I never said I wanted to be God's disciple
I'll never be the one to blindly follow
I'll never be the one to bear the cross-disciple

I reject this f***in' race!!!!!
I despise this f***in' place!!!!!!
_____________________________
Mister Crowley.......

Comments

1 On December 13, 2007 at 9:55 PM, Dannielle wrote —

I think they were both the same person. However, that doesn't mean much. Everyone keeps saying he talked to voices in his head. I've heard things about rapid mood swiings or personality changes, though, of course I have no idea how accurate that is. If all the things he experienced are in fact true, the boy probably had multiple personality disorder. This would also explain as to why treatment never worked for him, he was never properly diagnosed and it's extremely difficult for a multiple to make any progress without first being diagnosed. He was also on antidepressants which more or less had no effect, correct? Typically medicine doesn't have much effect on multiples. This would also explain "our nightmare" instead of "my" nightmare. Just a thought. At any rate, my heart goes out to him and those hurt through the entire ordeal. Had somebody, anybody, truly listened to him, this would have never happened.

2 On December 21, 2007 at 10:02 AM, black abyssians wrote —

Daniel,

I do believe this was the same person. Your article mentions that you have screen shots prior to the Sarah's Chrstnnghtmr myspace page being disabled. I am trying to make a connection between Murray and some other individuals. Would you please send me those screen shots especially if you have a shot of the friends pages.
Thank you

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