For Christians...It's All About The Pickle? genre: Gaylingual & Hip-Gnosis

Christians are notorious for crafting simplified representations of their faith as well as the less than scientific doctrines they embrace (think creationism and peanut butter).

In the first of the following videos, Grandpa John uses an ordinary pickle to demonstrate the power of Christianity. To do this, grandpa zaps the pickle with a dose of electricity and suggests that the infusion of this external power source is the same as having God in one's life.

Unfortunately, things take a turn for the worst near the end of the video. When Grandpa John turns the lights back on, we get to see what the electricity is actually doing to the pickle. In the light of day, when the darkness of mysticism is removed, we realize that the electricity is boiling the pickle in its own juices...with steam pouring out of both ends. Now I don't know about you, but based upon what I saw, I'm gonna have to say no to Grandpa John.

In the second video, Lewis & Lewis, a Christian gospel music duo, offer us another little diddy about the pickle...metaphorically speaking, that is. Simply stated, the song is intended to tell the listener that being gay isn't ok...because the plumbing just doesn't work. Lewis & Lewis use a farm setting to tell us that farm animals aren't gay. Last time I checked the literature, science may not agree with Lewis & Lewis.

Anyway, the bottom line seems to be that Christians are obsessed with pickles. If they're not puttin' the juice to their own, they're worried about where the neighbor and the farm animals might be puttin' theirs.

I'm thinking one of these folks needs to see what can be learned from puttin' one's pickle in a jar of peanut butter. Then again, given the lessons we've already learned, and the level of interest in both, I have no way to confirm that they haven't already done so.

If you don't understand that last comment, you'll need to take a look at the video found in the first link.

Grandpa John Fires Up His Pickle

Lewis & Lewis - Come On Down To The Farm

Tagged as: Christianity, Faith, Gay, God, Homosexuality, Humor, Jesus, LGBT, Religion

Daniel DiRito | July 21, 2008 | 4:24 PM
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1 On July 22, 2008 at 9:37 AM, Ben in Oakland wrote —

I saw the Lewis video. I wrote a very nice and polite, but challenging letter to them. The response was as iggerunt, vile, and vicious as you could possibly get. Yet they still assured me that they loved me, but hated my sin.

As I always like to say to these so-called 'good' people-- I would really prefer your hate. At least that way you won't be adding lying through your teeth to your host of other sins.

Thought Theater at Blogged

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