Thought Theater

While many Christians believe in the Rapture...that moment at which all Christians will simultaneously rise into heaven...I fear that the logistical preparations are woefully lacking. The following video provides a basic primer on the many safety concerns that Christians have yet to address. We can only hope that a committee will be organized to confront these concerns.

After all, I would hate to think that any of my holier than thou friends would be cheated from eternity because they failed to foresee the many risks associated with millions of individuals rising to heaven in unison.

With that in mind, I do have one suggestion for my Rapture ready friends. In order to promote the safe transport of all Christians into heaven, I propose that all air traffic controllers be atheists. Having Christian air traffic controllers could facilitate a tragedy of untold proportions as they would undoubtedly rise to heaven with their fellow Christians which would leave their control positions unmanned.

Then again, my suggestion could be a grand scheme to allow the followers of the antichrist to infiltrate the ranks of air traffic controllers and participate in a Rapture rebellion designed to pluck unsuspecting Christians out of the sky.

Actually, the more I think about it, the more I suspect that the Bible has anticipated all of these concerns and Christian scholars have already found the relevant scriptural instruction to carefully prepare an evacuation manual designed to counteract the diabolical intentions of the non-believers.