Before I begin, let me be clear...I have great sympathy for the immense pain and loss the family of Matthew Murray must be enduring. I don't for a moment question their sincerity and I'm certain they love Matthew, and I wish them well. We will likely never fully understand the dynamics that led to this tragic ordeal. However, it is important to explore all of the mechanisms which may have contributed to this terrible tragedy so that others might be spared the life-shattering agony. Additionally, with measured and objective reflection, perhaps we can uncover the means to save the lives of people like Matthew and his innocent victims. I offer the following with this in mind.
As I read an account of the funeral of Matthew Murray, it crystallized the certainty of my long held concern. There's no better way to state it...Christianity has been hijacked by those who will spare no effort in their goal of coalescing each and every individual within the confines of their beguiling brand of fundamental and fraudulent evangelicalism.
This broad movement, populated by dangerous demagogues, is tireless in its efforts to define God's intentions via literal, though laconic, interpretations of Biblical passages. They set out to instill this canard via a cunning sleight of hand...one that endeavors to package biblical eisegesis as biblical exegesis in an effort to engender irrefutable status and unyielding support.
The end game seeks to insure that every human act can be filtered through this masterfully manipulated prism...regardless of reasonability. Sadly, the efforts to view Matthew's life and death through this narrow purview have already commenced.
Since the tragic events unfolded in Colorado, I've watched as a number of conscripts have sought to sell the theory that the "normality" of Matthew's younger brother precluded the casting of doubt or the shining of a suspicious light upon the environment in which Matthew was raised. This crock block has been expressed as follows:
He (Matthew), in my opinion had the best, most supporting family. The whole family is so nice and giving.
IF his condition was caused by an event in his life, it would have to be something outside the family because his brother is a happy, friendly and a talented piano player. If it were his mum or dad wouldn't his brother also be at least somewhat affected"?
On the surface, one might be inclined to accept this argument...or at least consider its plausibility. Needless to say, even the underlying premise of this statement misses the mark. Clearly the relevant problem exceeds his "mum and dad" and the fact that his brother may have embraced the religious teachings of the higher authority brought into the home via his parents doesn't mean the environment was healthy or connected to rationality.
A siblings acceptance of the prescribed ideology doesn't affirm its validity nor does it necessarily absolve the parents of any potential responsibility. One can just as easily argue that the brother has, in fact, been affected...not only as a result of parental oversight; but also as a product of intense ideological indoctrination. Should there be any doubt as to this likelihood, let the words of Christopher Murray persuade you otherwise:
Even though Satan attacked my brother, I truly feel God is going to save a whole generation of people through this."
I suspect Matthew felt attacked by something other than Satan. I also suspect he would have been overjoyed to simply find the means to save himself...but even Matthew realized that wasn't in keeping with the "master plan" of his "handlers".
Anyone who has read Matthews voluminous writings will immediately know how to draw the necessary connections to, and conclusions from, this telling statement of Matthew's brother.
While one might expect Matthew's tragic death to lead his family to question their fundamental beliefs...as well as the rigid script they pushed upon Matthew suggesting his eventual role as a prophet (even to the extent that it foretold he would first turn away from his faith), it appears that his death has simply been incorporated into an ongoing story line.
The fact that the family would continue to brandish this biblically based biography (adaptations included as needed) with unflinching adherence may surprise or shock the objective observer...but it shouldn't...especially if one remembers the constructs upon which this movement is premised. Nothing, not event the death of a loved one, can force them to deviate from their doctrinal diatribe. If the outside observer can discern that rigidity, is it any wonder Matthew would be tormented by it?
I contend such an environment essentially relegates a child like Matthew to irrelevance...a virtual character in a play whereby the doubts and discomforts of the real person (Matthew) are inconsequential. The ideology, the church, and mom and dad have but one objective...to direct the production of the preordained outcome. As such, understanding Matthew was unnecessary. Instead, they set out to make him understand his role regardless of his protestations. When he failed to comply, they simply wrote his behavior into their script...all the while preserving the integrity of the ending.
I would compare the situation to a father who dabbled in golf as a child, but for whatever reason never succeeded in the sport, who then becomes determined to turn his child into the next Tiger Woods regardless of the child's total lack of athletic ability and an unbridled interest in classical piano.
As this process unfolds, the child will undoubtedly feel inadequate. If the pressure persists or advances, the child's identity will suffer untold damage. In extreme situations, some children will strike out in an effort to be seen as more than an object being utilized to augment the insecurities of the parent(s).
Returning to Matthew's writings, in one of his many entries he states:
As far as dealing with parents....I don't think the woman known as my mother really is my mother. She doesn't act like it. My "mother" is just a brainswashed (sp) church agent cun,t. The only reason she had me was because she wanted a body/soul she could train into being the next Billy Graham, Bill Gothard, or Peter Wagner. [...] She had a "special plan from the Lord" for me. No easy way out for me. Almost every f***ing day and at every church service the pastors and our parents would tell me and the other youth that "God has a very special plan for this generation.....don't break any rules or you'll miss out!!! Honor and OBEY your parents and the pastors ("god's anointed") or your life will be cursed and you'll open a doorway for demons!"
Clearly little interpretational analysis is needed...Matthew, in his own words, vividly supports the argument I've made. One needn't take license to realize that Matthew felt invisible.
We may never know what Matthew sought to impart in his final actions...but I'm willing to surmise that the words his brother spoke at his funeral would serve as one further reminder to Matthew of his inability to be seen outside the constructs of the dogmatic design of those he knew.
Nonetheless, those who contend that looking at Matthew's brother should absolve the family or his faith from any accountability is akin to suggesting that Nazi war criminals were not influenced by the rampant rhetoric and reprehensible rationale of Adolf Hitler's "final solution". Let me be clear, the acts of those who carried out the Holocaust can never be justified and neither can Matthew's. While this is an extreme comparison, even in the resolution of far more innocuous liability cases, the attribution of responsibility is rarely applied solely to one party.
Those who manipulate others in order to execute misguided agendas are sullied by the acts of their minions...even if those injustices are perpetrated by the willful behavior of adults...and those in positions of authority mustn't be allowed to reconstruct reality in order to absolve accountability.
Matthew, unlike these Nazi criminals, was systematically submitted to indoctrination his entire life. If grown men in Germany were susceptible to the suspension of reasonable and long-established mores, what chance did a vulnerable child have to avoid the madness that ensued from his efforts to reject hypocrisy and see life outside of the prison he was forced to endure? If our condemnation of Hitler and his ideology is justified, so too is our questioning of parental propriety.
It should come as no surprise that the world Matthew chose when rejecting his faith was filled with the constructs of his overlords...a world immersed in images of evil and inhumane idols...a world cast by the iron fisted adults in his life as the only alternative available to those who would fall from grace. In limiting Matthew's contact with the outside world...as well as vilifying it...they precluded him from witnessing moderation and escaping the confines of the black and white extremities they promoted.
Now, more than ever, it is time to break the back of religious extremism lest we regress into the throes of a dark ages mentality...a time where the pursuit of objective knowledge is subjugated to the asserted infallibility of religious ideology.
When the following statement can be accepted as a reasonable reaction to Matthew's horrendous final actions, have we not commenced the suspension of our humanity in favor of a contrived denial construct?
just thought I'd let u guys know...i go to new life...and i love it there..God forgives and so do i...i forgave matthew the minute it happened...we are all sinners and capable of making huge mistakes. God loves everyone...i pray for his family...and that somehow through this tradegdy (sp) that God WILL be exhaulted (sp) [...]
The nature of man tells us death is first met by grief and anger and sometime in the future forgiveness will hopefully emerge. When those of faith leap to make statements that deny as much, have we not injected the very ideations that led Matthew to reject the sincerity of religion? Any faith that believes we can or should abandon our basic human traits is suspect.
If I can read the English language...and I believe I can...then aren't those who are leaping to accept and embrace Matthew in death, the same who ignored and rejected him in life? If that is a demonstration of Christianity, then Jesus Christ was a fraud.
On the contrary, I contend those who portray their Christianity through trite statements and symbols, as if it were the equivalent of a badge that can be slapped upon one's lapel, are simply engaged in a never-ending spiral of hypocrisy and self-deception.
While I applaud the sincerity and compassion being exhibited by many people of faith, those easily identified interlopers who wear their faith like a badge, and who seek to usurp Christianity, must be exposed and forced to travel far deeper than the pretty proclamations they've begun to toss upon this terrible tragedy.
Unless and until this happens, we're never going to save the Matthew's of the world...or prevent the needless carnage they inflict.
Tagged as: Bible, Christian, Christopher Murray, Chrstnghtmr, Colorado Shootings, Depression, Eisegesis, Evangelical, Faith, Fundamentalism, God, His Love Fellowship Church, Loretta Murray, Matthew Murray, Mr. Crowley, New Life Church, nghtmrchld26, Occult, Pentecostal, Phil Abeyta, Religion, Ronald Murray, Ted Haggard, Youth With A Mission, YWAM
Daniel DiRito | December 15, 2007 | 2:15 PM |
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There appears to have been a connection between Matthew Murray and New Life Church in 2004...one that resulted in a confrontation. Perhaps this explains why Matthew chose New Life as a target. Even more significant, the staff at New Life allegedly warned Murray's mother that Matthew might be "planning violence".
The gist of the situation seems to suggest that two staff members told Matthew's mother that he "wasn't walking with the lord and could be planning violence". From that situation, Matthew's mother found his stash of "evil" items (music, books, video games) and confiscated them. It appears he may have blamed this on the folks at New Life.
Stay tuned. I'll soon be updating this posting with additional entries from this latest cache of postings.
EDITOR'S NOTE: See the update below.
Forum Thread Number One:
First Entry:
On 09/04/06 - Chrstnghtmr wrote:
Thread: Growing up in the nightmare of Bill Gothard and Charismatic Christianity (short version) (Healing) (Posted on: 04 Sep : 13:04)
I am 22 years old and I was raised in Bill Gothard's homeschool program all the way through high school. I went to both the Basic and Advanced Seminars. My Mother was fully into both Bill Gothard's programs AND the Charismatic movement. She followed Peter Wagner, Mike Bickle, Joyce Meyer, Ted Haggard of New Life Church, Cindy Jacobs, Dutch Sheets and any other person who was popular in the Charismatic movement at the time.
In addition to all of Bill Gothard's insanity my mother was into all the charismatic/"fanatical evangelical" insanity. Her and her church believed that Satan and demons were everywhere in everything. The rules were VERY strict all the time. We couldn't have ANY christian or non-christian music at all except for a few charismatic worship CDs. There was physical abuse in my home. My mother although used psychotropic drugs because she somehow thought it would make it easier to control me(I've never been diagnosed with any mental illness either). Pastors would always come and interrogate me over video games or TV watching or other things. There were NO FRIENDS outside the church and family and even then only family members who were in the church. You could not trust anyone at all because anyone might be a spy.
At age 17, I decided to "go all out for Jesus" and do my best to practice christianity and live it out. I went to the bible to read for myself how one gets "saved." I found several different versions of getting saved from the gospels. In John it was mainly "have faith" but in Mt, Mk, and Lk, it was as found in Mt 25, that you would have eternal life by doing good works(which of course is considered heresy). So I went to the books from the man that "had all the answers," Bill gothard's Basic and Advanced seminar textbooks.
What I found were all these other rules Irealized I could never live up to, yet, the man seemed to have a biblical basis for everything. In Februrary 2001 at age 17 I plunged into a dark suicidal depression all because I thought I had lost my "salvation" and somehow couldn't live up to the rules. Every single hour of every single day, up until October 2001 I thought about ways of suicide and hating myself for not being worthy enough and failing God. I felt like there was no reason to live because I had lost my salvation and could never live up to the rules. In May of 2001, I told my parents I was depressed and they put me on 2 anti-depressants(in addition to the other crap pills they had me on to try to brainwash me).
None of that touched this depression at all. Everyone prayed, they laid hands on me, spoke in tongues over me, I sought out every kind of christian spiritual help I knew of in charismatic christianity. I through away video games, a few movies, anything that could possibly be "bringing demons" that would cause me to lose God's favour and make me depressed. I never told my parents I was suicidal however, that would have gotten me in big trouble, I just told them I was depressed.
In Oct 2001 I decided it had to end somehow, so I decided to simply reject the idea that Bill Gothard was infallible. The depression mostly cleared right up. I was still a little depressed because I saw other youth in another group doing so well and happy with life. That group was called King's Kids.
King's Kids is a youth ministry of YWAM.
I got involved with King's Kids and went on missions trips with them.
At age 18, in 2002, I went to Youth With A Mission to do their "DTS" program which lasts a total of 5 months, the last two months you go on outreach. On the YWAM base several of the other young men smoked pot, looked at porn, listened to heavy metal, AND were involved in homosexual activities. 6 of the guys made a homosexual porn videotape together on the YWAM Denver campus but only one got kicked out because his face was on the video. 1 week before I was to head out on outreach, I was told by the YWAM Denver staff that I couldn't go because I "wasn't popular and talkative enough for missions work." They admitted that I hadn't done anything wrong, just that they had prayed and felt I wasn't popular/"connected" and talkative enough. I had already raised the $2600 for the 3 month course AND payed the $2200 for the missions trip(I did get a refund).
When I got back home it was back to the good old restriction and that is when I started having serious doubts about christianity. I got on staff with another group that is a program of YWAM called King's Kids. I was on staff with them until mid 2005.
In early 2004, I was still living at home at age 20. I went to a charismatic conference at New Life church with my mother and her church. At the conference I got into a debate with two prayer team staff members. These two staff members watched me throughout the conference to find out who I was with. They found my mother and told her this story that went something along the lines of I "wasn't walking with the lord and could be planning violence." Two weeks later my mother brought over one of the pastors to search my room for "anything evil"(which included my Xbox video game and DVD collection). I tried moving all the video games, DVDs, and a few non-christian books over to a friends house, but that woman was a church member. My mother and the church leadership called that woman, got into her house and basically destroyed at least $900 worth of property. I wasn't involved in anything like drugs or anything like that. I just had video games, some books about other religions, DVDs and such.
After that incident my mother searched my room for the next 3 months EVERY SINGLE DAY. After that I decided it was over, that I had had it with christianity. Seeing how there are all these different churches and interpretations of the bible and what Jesus said, many different views on what a sin actually is and isn't, different views on what God approves of, and all kinds of different views on:On how to get "saved" and how to stay "saved," I realized that Christianity was mostly a big lie. Everyone has different ways of getting and staying saved and staying in God's favor yet somehow there's "only one God, one way to God and only one Word of God."
I had already told my mother to lay off or she'd regret it. After that incident in 2004 I immediately went into all of Marilyn Manson's thinking, ideas and music, believe it or not.
I found a LOT in common with Marilyn Manson and what he had to say, especially on his "Antichrist Superstar" album. I got involved in several other things too.
I never bothered to tell my King's Kids leaders and friends that I had changed beliefs. I just stayed on KK Staff because I enjoyed going on outreaches and helping people. In 2005, I had written some poems about my experiences and sent them to some of my friends, 2 of which were on King's Kids staff. One them got upset about it and forwarded it to the local King's Kids director. He called me up and said he needed to have a meeting right away about "these e-mails you sent." At the meeting I told him that they weren't meant for him or anyone not on the list and that I didn't see how any sin had been done. He admitted that I hadn't done anything wrong by writing poetry, but he was still upset about it because it was talking bad about christians. He told me not to go to anymore meetings and that he would call me every other week to talk. He only called me the next week and has never called again. I had faithfully served them for a totall of 4 years, 3 of them on King's Kids staff. I found out with them just who my friends really are.
After the 2005 King's Kids I have not had any other affiliation with christian groups. however I'd say I left christianity in 2004.
Since leaving christianity I have gone on to the following:
Freemasonry-Scottish Rite, York Rite, Shriners
Everything Alesiter Crowley and Thelemic Magick, Marilyn Manson, Ceremonial Magick, Hermeticism, the Golden Dawn, Kabbalistic magick and studies.
Alice A. Bailey and her books, Lucis Trust, H.P. Blavatsky, Theosophy.
This story is kind of a shortened form. A LOT went on up until age 18, and then a lot happened at age 19(2003) to now.
____________________________________________________
Every man and every woman is a star
UPDATE I:
The following postings provide some poignant and troubling insight into Matthew and his thoughts. If one believes what Matthew has written, he asserts that he is bisexual...and has participated in "every sort of sexual perversion"...a statement which likely reflects some of the very religious judgments he sought to escape.
The last entry in this posting is perhaps the most significant...and perhaps one of the most troubling. I'll offer a note of caution, in that Matthew uses some harsh and crass language in recounting an alleged conversation he had with his mother.
What is clear is his growing resentments and his determination to effect a change. I contend his rejection of his religious ideology unfortunately didn't include the ability to separate his newly chosen activities (drinking, sex, etc) from the construct of sin which had been ingrained in his psyche. While choosing to rebel, it is obvious he still loathes his actions though sees them as equal or superior to the hypocrisy and abuse he believes he experienced while attempting to live his faith.
Sadly, in the end, I suspect he couldn't find a comfortable and comforting choice...hence his decision to end his life. It's unfortunate that he apparently concluded he had no reasonable alternatives to the path he ultimately chose. I find it difficult to fathom being in that state of mind...but then that's the primary reason for this exercise.
Let's hope that our society will decide to be more proactive in the future.
Second Entry:
On 11/05/06 - Chrstnghtmr wrote:
Well I have to say with the news regarding Ted Haggard's homosexuality, methamphetamine use, double life, lying to cover it all up for at least the last several years all while being "filled with the holy spirit"........
I feel somewhat vindicated.
"There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I’ve
been warring against it all of my adult life."
I've known many people, many people my age who've been abused and hurt by people in the "Holy Spirit Filled tongues speaking" "Deliverance spiritual warfare" "Holy Spirit annointed" Pentecostal/Charismatic movements/groups/churches.
Everyone's saying "lets forgive this man and love him and pray for restoration"
I want to know, where was all the love, compassion and mercy for all of my supposed imperfections growing up in church? Where was all the love and forgiveness from YWAM (where several of the missionaries were involved in homosexuality) for me being "not talkative enough"? Where is the restoration, love, mercy, and compassion for the hell and christian nightmare I had to go through?
I believe that certain things have been exposed for the fraud that they are.
Many people will say "it was only one man." But I say, "no, in my life, ZERO christians came to my aid. Most all the christians I knew in all the ministries and churches and groups I grew up in were no better than the rest of the world. I'm sorry, but this man does NOT need "forgive and forget, love and restoration." This particular group, New Life Church and charismatic movement in general has been in large part responsible for the christian nightmare that I've been through.
"You need to move on"
Believe me, I have moved on and now I can see and expose all the lies for what they are.
Christians will say "oh, but it's only one man, there's forgiveness."
"This doesn't mean that God doesn't exist."
Didn't say that it did. I fully believe in God, NOT this manmade christianity, the false doctrines of christianity or other manmade religions. I believe in Light, Life, Love, and Liberty.
The Damage has been done......
Now, it is Christianity that will be mocked, laughed at, ridiculed, judged, and condemned by many.........
______________________________________________________________________
Mister Crowley.......
Every man and every woman is a star
Forum Thread Number Two:
First & Only Entry:
On 09/04/06 - Chrstnghtmr wrote:
This is an interesting topic. In my house, prety much all christian contemporary/christian rock and non-christian rock music was Satanic. I was allowed to listen to christian sermons on christian radio stations, but no CD collections or anything.
It was in 2004 at age 20 when I rebelled against my parents and their church that I immediately went out and bought Marilyn Manson's "Smells Like Children" Album. From there I got all of Marilyn Manson's albums and went on to an assortment of metal and Black Metal groups:
Vital Remains, Slayer, Cradle of Filth, Danzig, Black Sabbath, Deicide, Cannibal Corpse, Emperor, Slipknot, Tool, Dark Funeral, Marduk, Gorgoroth etc.
I now have over 150 Metal albums, and yes I listen to many of them and enjoy the music AND the lyrics very much.
In my opinion, I think it's obvious that enforcing such strict rules on teenagers and young adults can cause a rebellion.
All those rules drove me insane worrying that "demons would get me if I heard rock music in a TV commercial"(of course, TV itself is demonic). I would always look down on other church members who listened to contemporary christian music and always wonder "How come they're not being punished? Why doesn't God strike them down?"
I remember, the pastors children got into all kinds of christian rap and christian rock and it was promoted, yet I wasn't allowed to have any of it. This issue helped to alientate me even more from other youth in the church. I always saw it as more hypocrisy in the church, that no one could agree on which music was acceptable and which music actually brought demons into the room you were listening in.
For me, that's all in the past.
I went from sheltered no-music allowed child to hardcore black metal/marilyn manson freak.(kind of like what happened to marilyn manson......)
And pastors aren't getting into my place to go on "room raids" lol
_________________________________________________________
Every man and every woman is a star
Forum Thread Number Three:
First & Only Entry:
Editors Note: The subject of this forum was "Forgiving Gothard".
On 09/04/06 - Chrstnghtmr wrote:
There are different definitions of what "forgiveness" is.
"Forgiving" does not mean "joining their religion/church/group/cult/doctrines."
Forgiving does not mean that it's ok to abuse children nor that it's ok to cover up child abuse.
Forgiving does not mean "going back and submitting" to someone's so-called authority.
For me, I feel I can forgive my parents and family, however, I do not forgive their beliefs/doctrines and I will not tolerate further abuse. I believe that the truth needs to be exposed. People need to see through errornious and destructive doctrines and teachings including Bill Gothard's.
Every man and every woman is a star
Forum Thread Number Four:
First Entry (one other exists but isn't relevant):
Editor's Note: The subject of this forum was "The Subculture of IBLP and ATI and Adapting to The Real Culture".
I have had a very hard time adapting to "the real culture." I started breaking away totally at age 19, I am 22 now. I have found it VERY hard to relate to the opposite sex and get and keep girlfriends, and of course getting laid and figuring out the mechanics of sex. A lot of times I have felt like such a loser when I see even other christian young adults getting married, having sex (outside of marriage), going out with girls all the time etc.
It is so hard trying to get "normal." We were so brainwashed into being afraid of sex and pornography and thinking about sex or liking girls or their bodies. We were forbidden from becoming "men." We were not allowed to be ourselves or think for ourselves or do anything at all that hadn't already been dictated. And all the while we were told, "this is what God wants" "you'll be blessed and live a long life if you do this" "the bible says that you will be destroyed if you disobey."
"the holy spirit will give you gifts if you submit and obey"
I've asked the question of "why did I have to be raised in THIS church and with THIS family?" Why not a peacful mennonite church? or some other version of christianity where things were not so insane and strict?
Obviously, one of the common pieces of advice is to "get out there and live life," which is good, but for me I have found a lot more.
In 2004, at age 20, I found a very interesting person who's childhood was very similar to mine. This man was raised by the Plymouth Brethren, a strict fundamentalist christian group. His mother forbade him from even reading "non-christian" william shakespear and other classical literature. this man was totally sheltered, heard the bible read every single day, his father was a preacher and evangelist. This boy even wanted to become an evangelist when he grew up. There's a lot more that happened.
This boy who was raised in a very strict and abusive christian home was Aleister Crowley.
Discovering Aleister Crowley has helped me a lot in my life. This man wrote a book about his thoughts on christianity called "The World's Tragedy." It is well worth getting.
Of course, Aleister Crowley did a lot in his life.
Aleister Crowley said that "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Love is the Law, love under will. There is no law beyond do what thou wilt"
Everything about Aleister Crowley just completely fascinates and captivates me. This man is like the antidote to what I was raised in.
I have also found a lot in all sorts of Occultism that has been very helpful.
The way I see it, is that christianity had it's fun with me and.....now it's all over.
In a way I've completely exploded out from christianity.
In a way it's like I'm just about completely rebelling against christianity in any way that I can, but this is a little different of a rebellion.
Sure I've done drinking and sex, bi-sexuality, bestiality, blasphemy, every kind of metal and black metal band, every sort of sexual pervsion I can think of that's legal, etc. HOWEVER, I'm somehow different from other people who are of the "wrong crowd." Most of my time is spent doing things other than the activities mentioned. A lot of my time is just spent in....occultism/spirituality.
I guess I'm somehow different from "the wrong crowd" and most "rebels" and "wild" people in that I follow Aleister Crowley in this:
“That religion they call Christianity; the devil they honour they call God. I accept these definitions, as a poet must do, if he is to be at all intelligible to his age, and it is their God and their religion that I hate and will destroy."
p.s.
I've heard all the usual fake sayings and lines people will say.
Growing up I heard "it's about a relationship, not a religion!"
I've heard "don't blame God for what people do" and "you're just talking about a few people in christianity, no group is perfect" "you weren't raised in real christianity you need to join _________ " "instead of looking at people you need to pray directly to God"
Guess what? I've got all those things covered. I prayed and cried out to God, and "called upon the name of the Lord" and I was lead to go this way. I believe that Jesus is God and I believe in what he taught HOWEVER, I don't believe that much of today's christianity follows Jesus. I understand that there are many good and nice christians, but I believe that the doctrines as a whole are false and a lie. I do not blame the one true God for the atrocity that is Christianity.
As I said before, I've prayed and read the bible, I called upon God to show me the truth, and this is the path I have found.
Don't blame me just because I was shown a different path than christianity when I prayed and searched.
I would also say that I have yet to find any real spiritual power in any church or christian that was different from all other religions and spiritual paths. In the bible? Yes I read the bible all the time. I still will not follow Christianity.
I agree with Aleister Crowley himself when he said, "I do not hate God or Christ, but merely the God and Christ of the people whom I hated."
_____________________________________________________
Fiat Lux!
Every man and every woman is a star
Forum Thread Number Five:
First & Only Entry:
On 09/24/07 - Chrstnghtmr wrote:
I found this man to be a wonderful inspiration. In my times of difficulty in trying to heal, when I feel like my life sucks and that there is no hope for a rejected sheltered christian boy like me, this man's life has given me a powerful hope and resolve to take a stand and to know that I'm not the only one who has been a victim of this kind of abuse and insanity.
Earlier this year I wrote a speech about this man's life and gave it at a christian college in one of my classes. What follows is that speech/writing:
Edward Alexander “Aleister" Crowley was born to Edward Crowley in England on October 12, 1875. Aleister Crowley’s parents were members of a strict group of Christians known as the Plymouth Brethren. As an infant Aleister Crowley was baptized by the Plymouth Brethren. Aleister Crowley’s parents raised him in this strict Christian setting. The bible was read and prayers were said daily.
The Crowley family was also wealthy because Aleister's Dad was also a very successful brewer of alcohol. One can immediately see the obvious, apparent contradiction in being an evangelist of the Gospel and a brewer of alcohol. This was a contradiction that little Aleister didn’t fail to recognize. Nevertheless, Crowley was encouraged by his father to love God and to want to grow in the Christian faith. Crowley was receptive to his father’s guidance initially. He used to love reading the Bible as a boy. As Aleister Crowley stated in his Confessions, “The underlying theory of life which was assumed in the household showed itself constantly in practice. The universe was created by God 4004 B.C. The Bible, Authorized Version, was literally true, having been dictated by the Holy Ghost himself to scribes incapable of even clerical errors."
“The second coming of the Lord Jesus was confidently expected to occur at any moment. So imminent was it that preparations for a distant future --- such as signing a lease or insuring one's life --- might he held to imply lack of confidence of the promise, ‘Behold I come quickly.’" “Earthly life was regarded as an ordeal; this was a wicked world and the best thing that could happen to anyone was "to go to be with Christ, which is far better". On the other hand, the unsaved went to the lake of fire and brimstone which burneth for ever and ever" (Crowley, 1929-1930, p.38).
As a child, Aleister Crowley had desired to serve God and become an evangelist.
In May, 1887, when Aleister Crowley was 11 years old, his father died of cancer. This was to be a major turning point in young Crowley’s life. Aleister Crowley’s parents had sent him to a school in Cambridge, run by Plymouth Brethren. According to Aleister, this school was supposed to be run by Christians, they had constant chapel services, and a Reverend. However, Crowley documented that the school was dominated with liars, thieves, physical abuse, homosexuals, and a number of other forms of wickedness. (Crowley, Confessions, p.63-67) The death of Aleister Crowley’s father and the hypocrisy he witnessed at the Christian school caused Aleister Crowley to desire to vigorously rebel against his Christian upbringing and against Christianity.
Aleister Crowley set out to figure out the best way to do this.
Aleister Crowley stated in his Confessions, “I was not content to believe in a personal devil and serve him, in the ordinary sense of the word. I wanted to get hold of him personally and become his chief of staff" (Crowley, 1929-1930, p.67).
When attending College, he was already proud of his homosexual behavior, drunkenness and drug use. While at Cambridge University, Aleister Crowley wrote a poem called “Alcedama-A Place to Bury Strangers In". In that poem, Crowley wrote: “I was in the death struggle with self: God and Satan fought for my soul those three long hours. God conquered - now I have only one doubt left - which of the twain was God?"
Crowley answered his own question by determining that Satan was his god. He went on to write: “I had been almost overwhelmed by the appalling responsibility of ensuring my own damnation and helping others to escape from Jesus." Crowley’s hatred for Christianity was summed up in a book he wrote in 1910 entitled “The World’s Tragedy." In that book he made a statement that reflected his life’s goal:
“That religion they call Christianity; the devil they honour they call God. I accept these definitions, as a poet must do, if he is to be at all intelligible to his age, and it is their God and their religion that I hate and will destroy."
In March, 1904, while traveling with his wife in Egypt, Aleister Crowley wrote the Book of the Law, which he claims was dictated to him by his guardian angel, named “Aiwass." In the Book of the Law Crowley was declared “The Prophet of a New Aeon," a New Age where the old “Aeon of Osiris" would pass away and the “New Aeon of Horus" would be ushered in (Crowley, 1976). Aleister Crowley declared himself “The Great Beast of Revelation" and labeled himself “666." In 1920, Aleister Crowley used a building in Sicily, Italy, and called it his “Abbey of Thelema." The “Abbey of Thelema" was set up for Crowley and his followers to practice magickal rituals and study the occult. After several scandals and a woman dying during a sex magick ritual at the Abbey, Aleister Crowley was expelled from Italy. After being expelled, Aleister Crowley became known internationally as “The wickedest man in the world" and newspapers everywhere were talking about him. Aleister Crowley went on to write many books on Occult and Magickal practices gaining many followers to his cause.
Aleister Crowley went on to become known as “The wickedest man in the world."
Aleister Crowley would go on to write dozens of books on the occult throughout his life, promoting Black Magic and all forms of occultism, including astral projection, divination, ceremonial magick, witchcraft, human sacrifice, the Universality of Magick, and practically anything else that would help him achieve his stated goal -- the destruction of the Christian faith. Crowley believed that Christianity was a gloomy religion, full of despair. He referred to Christianity as the “gloom."
Rebelling against an oppressive and abusive childhood in evangelical christianity, Aleister Crowley wrote many books on occult and magickal topics, become a leader in the world of occultism and one of the most infamous Magicians of the 20th Century. His works became practically it’s own occult religion, influencing much of modern occultism and influencing many people and followers, even to this day.
Every man and every woman is a star
Forum Thread Number Six:
First & Only Entry:
Editor's Note: The subject of this forum was ""God's Will" equals "Parent's Will"
On 02/12/07 - Chrstnghtmr wrote:
I understand what you're saying restored. My parents and their church were very abusive and they always used sayings like "touch not the Lord's annointed" and "what does it say here?"(pointing to the ten commandments and Eph 6:1-3) "it says to honor AND OBEY! it didn't say whether you think they're abusive or not, it says to OBEY....."
That's just too bad because instead of a dead, lifeless, spiritually powerless criminally abusive christianity, I found a new Law that says:
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law
I realized that we all have a spark of divinity within us and that the answers can be found within ourselves, rather than from some hyopcrite Ted Faggard pastor or some abusive Gothardite tongues speaking fanatical church. Every man has a right to do his Divine Will that he has been given from the Divine(which of course, must be discovered first.)
It's ironic that I was raised in a "godly loving christian home with two parents" and a church who all told me I would go to hell if I listened to even christian contemporary/rock music and that demons would posses me if I listened to non-christian music because I also found Marilyn Manson who taught me that, there is no heaven and hell and that I have no "original sin" that I need to be forgiven of and to kill myself over guilt over, nor that I need this false theory of salvation that christianity uses to force it's system of enslavement, fear, tithing and abuse upon the world.
_________________________________________________________________
Every man and every woman is a star
Forum Thread Number Seven:
Editor's Note: The subject of this forum was "Ignorance is innocence ? NO SEX! Education and ATI".
First Entry:
On 06/25/07 - Chrstnghtmr wrote:
yeah, I'd agree encourager. I was always this shy timid little boy and always felt guilty for looking at or even talking with girls....
To get past all that..........realize that you have nothing left to lose in this miserable life. Christians have raped and tried to take everything from within me. realize that, nothing really matters anyways, "Jesus"/"God" certainly has not answered any of my prayers all these years....so if "God" has been there......then he obviously doesn't have time....or is getting off watching all the suffering. Believe me, I've heard it all before, "oh, but he is right there even now!" "you just have to ask him"(as if I haven't already done that) "you just have to turn your heart to him!"(so what...do I have to visualize my heart chakra linking to Christ?) "if you'll only have faith and call upon the name of the lord!"(already done that a hundred times)
I can have sex with whatever and whomever I please. If girls or guys get offended that I ask for sex or play or that I ask them to get high or whatever.....then f*** them! I'm already going to Hell for watching the Simpsons and playing video games, leaving my parents church and a ton of other sh**, "God" certainly hasn't said anything about it. I don't have to worry about being turned down or feeling guilty anymore. Considering that watching The Simpsons will send you to hell, might as well watch any and all the pornography you can get your hands on to learn about sex. It's not like "God" is sending a guy/girl to teach you about sex........
I went to God just to see and I was looking at me
I saw that heaven and hell were lies
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law
Every man and every woman is a star
Second Entry:
On 07/01/07 - Chrstnghtmr wrote:
Actually granolagoddess, most people in this world are pretty f***ing stupid.
Most people are stupid enough to believe that their favorite politician would never lie to them, or that their government would never dare break any laws (read about COINTELPRO), or things like "the bible is the only thing that's needed for education and the only source for truth." People are stupid enough to believe that they need to follow a pastor and that pastors can be trusted(i.e. Ted Haggard). Heck, there's even people who believe that they're going to be raptured up into the sky and that some guy died and rose again for their imaginary "sins" that they think everyone in the world is guilty of and that everyone who is not a part of their church/religion and/or does not "speak in tongues" or desires to have sex is going to a lake of fire. Ha ha ha all you stupid people can suck my ****....cause for me, if I ever get sick of it all, suicide is always going to be there......
Sure, most people online are stupid, but most people offline are stupid also. Many people just go around believing what "the experts" tell them to believe.
What do you think about that granolagoddess?
Of course there's also those stupid idiots who think that online internet forums and e-mails are supposed to have perfect grammar and spelling.........
_________________________________________
Mister Crowley....
Every man and every woman is a star
Third Entry:
On 08/09/07 - Chrstnghtmr wrote:
This whole sex thing really discourages me. I didn't learn what sex really was until age 19....unfortanately not by hands on experience. I see all my friends and other people having sex, getting married and all while I can't hardly even get a date even though I'm in excellent shape and "groomed." I try to be nice and considerate and all yet I can never get a (female) date. I am at least able to get some male action but I wish I could just once be with a girl. It kind of sucks to be a young adult like this and to have never been with a girl.
Yeah, I know I suck and a lot of people hate me...but there is hope for getting laid by the end of this year.
I'm working with Marilyn Manson, Decide, Cradle of Filth, Slayer, and Slipknot on this one......and meditating on Liber OZ to come up with some solution, some way of getting laid with a female by years end.
I've realized that it really is all about the Beautiful People....all about everyone hating people like me who are the "horrible people." Telling us "you suck"..."you can't be this way"......all of this is your fault......all of this abuse you went through is YOUR fault...stop whining.....you're just trying to shock.......you haven't really been through anything......"and I don't want you and I don't need you don't bother to resist or I'll beat you, it's not your fault that you're always wrong...you weaker one's are there to justify the strong...."
These days I'm able to have full confidence when approaching girls..I know that all the power I need is within me and that I am my own God...I don't need Bill Gothard's or some Charismatic Jesus People evangelical holy spirit bull**** system to have confidence and success. I didn't know this as a homeschool sheltered teenage boy but I now know that much of christianity is just for the dominionists/Council for National Policy groups to get money and further their political agendas. It's just so that church leaders can get rich, have power over people's live and take in tithes(so they can go buy Meth like Ted Haggard did or something to that effect).
Right now I'm listing to this Marilyn Manson song that says:
"Your christian world is an ashtray, we burn and coil like cigarettes.....
the nature of the leeches.......the virgins are feeling cheated...you've only spent a second of your life...
my world is unaffected..there is an end to this...don't say it isn't it's true.....I went to God just to see and I was looking at me, Saw heaven and hell were lies.....when I'm God....
Scar scar can you feel my Power?"
I believe that as we ex-gothardites/ex-christians heal we ill get this all figured out......Time's going to wash away all pain....
_________________________________________
I was born into this.....everything turns into sh**
the boy that you loved is the man that you fear......
Every man and every woman is a star
Forum Thread Number Eight:
First & Only Entry:
Editor's Note: The subject of this forum was "Crying all alone in pain in the nightmare of christianity....".
On 07/07/07 - Chrstnghtmr wrote:
Note: This is a writing for who deal with insane sh**. This is not a writing for those who "have it all together." This is not a writing for those who "only want to think about happy things and feel better." People condemn these writings just because they were "too dark" and didn't want to acknowledge these things. Other people come and say things like "oh I know how you feel but if you just try hard to not think like this then you'll feel better" or "if you just get counseling then things will be better, believe me, I know what you're going through....."
First, the seeing a licensed therapist routine has already been done...there's no need to chant that tired line of advice.
Second, you probably do not know how people like me feel, so don't act like it. If you think you know about what people like me have been through and want to understand, then here's a razor blade. Drop me a line when you're done and we'll talk.
This writing was written down in early 2006.
For those of us who know about what it's like to grow up in christianity.......
for those who can't deal with hearing about people who have suffered at the hand of christianity .....
welcome to our nightmare.......
Editor's Note: The following was posted in an entry on another site included in the first posting on Matthew but I include it again due to the above introduction provided by Matthew.
Crying all alone in pain...losing all reserve….I can't wake up out of this nightmare........
Insane? Am I the only mother f***** with a brain?........
Maze...psychopathic daze...I create this waste
Back away from tangents, on the verge of drastic
ways...can't escape this place...I deny your face
Sweat gets in my eyes, I think I'm slowly dying
put me in a homemade cellar
put me in a hole for shelter
someone find me please, all I see is hate
I can hardly breathe and I can hardly take it!
HANDSONMYFACEOVERBEARINGICAN'TBREAKOUT!
lost...ran at my own cost...hearing laughter, scoffed
learning from the rush, detached from such and such
bleak...all around me, weak...listening, incomplete
I am not a dog, but I'm the one your dogging……
I am crying here in a buried kennel
I have never felt so final
Someone help me please, losing all reserve
I am f***ing gone, I think I'm fu**ing dying
HANDSONMYFACEOVERBEARINGICAN'TGETOUT!
You all stare, but you'll never see
There is something inside me......
Cut me! beat me! molest me! abuse me! @#%$ me! hate me! break me! Rape me! kill me! show me!
Here is my purity……
Enter this nightmare…..I am willing and able and never any danger to myself
Knowledge in my pain, knowledge in my pain, just....@#%$ acknowledge all my pain, acknowledge all my
pain.....knowledge in my pain......
Or was my tolerance a phase?
Empathy! out of my way!
I can't die.....I can't die.....I can't die.....trancing out into another dark reality as the pain
fades away....my purity.....
You all stare, but you'll never see
There is something in you I despise.....
have you ever seen God?......have you ever seen God?!
have you ever......
_________________________________________
freak on my antics and give me a choice
it doesn't matter if I give a sh** cause it's sh** that you gave me
Every man and every woman is a star
Forum Thread Number Nine:
First & Only Entry:
Editor's Note: The subject of this forum was "Honor Thy Parents".
On 07/22/07 - Chrstnghtmr wrote:
First, there is nothing necessarily wrong with cutting. People like us are already going to hell according to christians. Why should we worry about all these little moral rules when we're already going to spend eternity in hell for not following the "right religion"/"only true relationship with god?"
Why am I going to hell? First, I'm not perfect. Two, I'm an introvert. Three, I'm not popular enough to be a missionary with YWAM or any other church group. Four, I don't pay tithes at all. Five, I don't speak in tongues. Six, I don't worship Bill Gothard. Seven, I'm bisexual. Eight, I don't worship George W. Bush, Israel, and the Republican party. Nine, I believe that America was NOT founded by fundamentalist christians but rather founded for an esoteric purpose (as explained by Manly P. Hall in "America's Secret Destiny" and Paul Foster Case in "The Great Seal"). Ten, I listen to non-christian music(cradle of filth rocks!), watch pornography, and just simply cannot wait to meet this christian god/jesus so I can shove my d*** up his a**.
Really, there's nothing wrong with cutting, nor with suicide, we're already going to hell for some stupid sin and/or not following the "true version of christianity." If you follow Bill Gothard but don't speak in tongues and/or listen to that rock and roll devil music you are probably already worshiping Satan and allowing demons to possess/opress you and into your home. Seriously, I doubt cutting or suicide is going to "cause you to go to hell more."
As far as dealing with parents....I don't think the woman known as my mother really is my mother. She doesn't act like it. My "mother" is just a brainswashed church agent cun,t. The only reason she had me was because she wanted a body/soul she could train into being the next Billy Graham, Bill Gothard, or Peter Wagner. I these idiots whine and complain about their broken homes and about how their mom wanted an abortion. Hell. I wish I was aborted but my mother wouldn't dare do that. She had a "special plan from the Lord" for me. No easy way out for me. Almost every f***ing day and at every church service the pastors and our parents would tell me and the other youth that "God has a very special plan for this generation.....don't break any rules or you'll miss out!!! Honor and OBEY your parents and the pastors("god's annointed") or your life will be cursed and you'll open a doorway for demons!"
I haven't been back to that church and group for a while. I told my mother earlier this year "listen here you little cu,nt, I'm not afraid of any of you christians, and I like screwing men, and I wouldn't mind having a threesome in front of you and dad......hell.....I jack off right here in front of you !@#$%....I'm not afraid of any of your copied wannabe new age charismatic church prophetic powers" and then I told her "listen, I'd be glad to face off against any of your fake church prophetsm, we'll see who's spirituality is REAL.....c,unt"
She just ran over to her room and I went back to my place. I already told her "hey, bit,ch, using drugs, alcohol and having gay sex, I'm just trying to do what any Christian pastor would do, at least I'm not doing meth like Ted Haggard...but maybe I will try it and maybe I'll just OD on stuff just so I don't have to deal with you anymore......"
Yeah....she's left me alone ever since. Point is, don't let these motherf***ers brainwash you....they lie and live double lives while claiming to "have the true way." The most "spiritual power" these christians have is lower psychism and the altered states of mind that they work themselves into with their praise and worship. No, God doesn't give you cancer when you go out and have sex, or get drunk, or smoke a joint, or stop paying tithes. No, demons don't appear in your bedroom at night and posses your mind because you went to a gay dance club or called your mother a c,unt. In fact......none of that sh,it happens. I've left several messages for the christian god to "speak to me" if I'm on the wrong path with my life.......it's been over 2 years and all I ever get spiritualy is to stay on the path that i'm on. I even have one of the prayers from 2004 that I wrote down. No christian or bill gothard god/Jesus has gotten back to me, and yes, I do still read the bible on occassion as well as many other spiritual texts.
Have fun, live life and don't let these christian c,unts brainwash you. Cut if you will, think about suicide if you will, go to church if you will, be mormon if you will, get drunk and high and have sex if you will. Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
____________________________________________________
Mister Crowley.....
Every man and every woman is a star
Tagged as: Bible, Christian, Chrstnghtmr, Colorado Shootings, Depression, Evangelical, Faith, Fundamentalism, God, Heavy Metal, Matthew Murray, Mr. Crowley, New Life Church, nghtmrchld26, Occult, Pentecostal, Religion, Sexuality, Ted Haggard, Youth With A Mission, YWAM
Daniel DiRito | December 12, 2007 | 4:33 PM |
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Rather that continue to update the prior posting, I've elected to create a new posting with a fourth and fifth update. I moved Update IV from the older posting so as to keep all the content related to Matthew's other possible online identities in one location.
UPDATE IV:
Editor's Note: The MySpace page linked below appears to have been taken down. At the moment, I do not know why the page has been disabled. Fortunately, I have screen shots of all of the content.
It appears that Matthew also had a MySpace page...although it was identified to be the page of "Sarah's Chrstnnghtmr". Looking at the page and reading through the writings, it coincides with many of the entries Matthew posted on other sites and the song playing on the page is "Mr. Crowley"...which ties back to many of his other postings as does the list of favorite music which includes Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, Slayer, Setherial, Deicide, Emperor, Naglfar, Marduk, Cradle of Filth, Cannibal Corpse, King Diamond, Mercyful Fate, Danzig, Mystic Circle, Shape of Despair, Dark Funeral.
She/He also lists favorite books which tie back to some of his entries at the other sites. Included in her/his list of books are 777, LIBER 220, LIBER XV, Liber ABA, LIBER 418, Liber 414, The Secret Doctrine, Isis Unveiled, Voice of the Silence, Long Hard Road Out of Hell - Marilyn Manson.
I found one particularly interesting entry on the MySpace page. It is an entry titled "Welcome To Our Christian Nightmare", and it appears to have been posted on June 5, 2006. What makes it so interesting is that it is the same story Matthew refers to in a posting at Ex-Pentecostal Forums. In that September 30, 2007 posting, he identifies the story as "A friends experience of growing up in The Nightmare" and explains it as follows:
"One of my friends wrote this. She was raised in a non-denominational/pentecostal+Charismatic household and church and is currently a young adult living on her own."
What is unclear is whether this is Matthew's story or actually a story about someone he may have known or someone...like Sarah...who he created to tell his story as a female...or to simply tell a fictional story (Matthew wanting to post his creative work). I took note of the fact that she/he refers to "Our" Christian Nightmare in the title of the entry. I suspect this wasn't an accident.
I also noticed that in Sarah's bio section, it states "Not Sure" in the section designated for sexual orientation. Sarah also notes she is a member of a group identified as "All Real Lesbians And Bisexuals & Beatiful (sp) Girls"...but the link doesn't seem to be working.
One of my first takes on this MySpace page ties back to another remark Matthew makes in an entry on one of the other sites. In that entry he muses, "What does it take to get laid?" (may not be an exact quotation). Perhaps Matthew thought he might be able to meet girls by posing as a "questioning" female? At the very least it seems like an avenue for an introverted 20 something male to try and expand his circle of acquaintances.
Part of me also suspects his plan included an anticipation that people would attempt to connect the dots he carefully laid out as part of what I would characterize as an elaborate alter-identity, alter-world which people would discover after his death. I'll need to ponder this further before making any definitive statement.
UPDATE V:
It seems that Matthew also posted comments at alt.suicide.holiday under the name "DyingChild_65". Many of the entries are the same ones he posted on other sites so I've only included two which I found to be significant. What struck me about the Dec 9 entry below is his reference to the documentary Jesus Camp.
For those who haven't seen it, the documentary focuses upon children who are sent to camp to become better soldiers of God. Ted Haggard is prominently featured in the piece which may assist in explaining how Matthew decided to target New Life Church. The fact that Matthew refers to Haggard as a favorite minister of his mother seems to support this argument.
I can't confirm if Matthew attended any such programs at New Life Church or any other location...though it wouldn't surprise me if he received this type of training at some point. Haggard's subsequent fall may have added to Matthew's growing disenchantment...a fact evidenced by the Nov 27 posting in which he lists a number of religious figures and then proceeds to assail them and their actions.
The Marilyn Manson video in the Nov 27 entry seems to support his growing sense of alienation...as well as his simmering anger at those who "fit in".
Nov 27, 2:30 am DyingChild_65 wrote:
Joyce Meyer, Peter Wagner, Ted Haggard, Jimmy Bakker, Jerry Falwell,
godhatesfags.org, Richard/Oral Roberts, James Dobson, John Bevere,
Tommy Tenny, Cindy Jacobs, Earl Paulk, Ken Ham, Heidi Baker/Iris
Ministries, John MacArthur, David Wilkerson, Paula White, Dave
Hunt/Berean Call, Kenneth Hagin, David Yonggi Cho, Charles Stanley, D
James Kennedy, Jan and Paul Crouch, Dutch Sheets, Benny Hinn, Paul
Cain, Tim Lahaye and all the Left Behind end times "Jesus is returning
soon!" bullshit, Chuck Pierce, Stan Johnson/Prophecy Club, Gary Ezzo,
Bill Gothard....and all the other televangelists and pastors, and
christian followers......
We see all these christians trying to force their beliefs,
pseudo-morality and bulls*** on everyone(usually for money and power),
telling everyone they need to "repent, send us money, and obey our
interpretations of the bible" so they can be let into heaven, have
their imaginary sins "forgiven" and not be sent to hell by their
"loving" pseudo-God.
Tell me, just like Marilyn Manson asks.....do you really want to go to
a place that's filled with a bunch of.... assholes?
Sorry but there's no such thing as heaven and hell nor "original sin."
Christians can't even figure out their own doctrines....they're still
arguing over whether or not you can lose your "salvation" or not.
Christians can't even agree on whether or not Christian Contemporary
Music is a sin or whether or not to "speak in tongues"
plus......there's a gazillion different versions of how Jesus is going
to return and whether there's even a rapture or not.........
The worst slave of all is the prick who indulges openly in no
pleasures at all in order that he may be considered "virtuous" or
"respectable" and these Christians who "have religion" / "a relationship
with God" and want to see every one else in the same deplorable state
of senile decay so that they may not feel quite so much out of place
in the world.......
These are fools that men adore; both their Gods & their men are fools.
Come forth, o children, under the stars, & take your fill of love!
I am the Snake that giveth Knowledge and Delight and bright glory, and
stir the hearts of men with drunkenness. To worship me take wine and
strange drugs whereof I will tell my prophet, & be drunk thereof! They
shall not harm ye at all. It is a lie, this folly against self. The
exposure of innocence is a lie. Be strong, o man! lust, enjoy all
things of sense and rapture: fear not that any God shall deny thee for
this.
Despise also all cowards; professional soldiers who dare not fight,
but play; all fools despise!
But the keen and the proud, the royal and the lofty; ye are brothers!
The key of joy is disobedience
"We will no longer be oppressed by the fascism of christianity"
Dec 9, 9:34 am DyingChild_65 wrote:
thank you to all you christians who've made me this way....you've
added to the rage........I'm just so full of hate now and I love
it............forcing all your religious bullshit down my throat all
these fuckin years with your dominionist christian agenda....like in
Jesus Camp.....well...the abuse ends NOW.........give me one good
reason why I should show ANY mercy and compassion for ANY of you
idiots........you christians never showed me any mercy nor
compassion.........
me, I still believe in a loving God....but not the christian god who
is full of hate....and never did anything at all all these years while
I've cried out for answers for spiritual truth.......your christian
God never did one thing about any of the abuse me and my christian
friends went through..........why the f*** should I care about any
morals?
Mankind in his insatiable search for divine
Knowledge has discarded all biblical teachings
Realizing that the strength of religion is the repression of
knowledge
All structures of religion have collapsed
Life prays for death
in the wake of the horror of these revelations
It was never imagined how graphic the reality that would
be known as the end of creation would manifest itself
We believe all this chaos and atrocity can be traced
Back to one single event.....
We hold these truths to be painfully self-evident
All men are not created equal
Only the strong will prosper
Only the strong will conquer
Only in the darkness of Christ have I realized
God Hates Us All!!!!!!
Drones since the dawn of time
Compelled to live your christian sheltered lives
Not once has anyone ever seen
Such a rise of pure hypocracy
I'll instigate I'll free your mind
I'll show you what I've known all this time
God Hates Us All!!!!! God Hates Us All!!!!
You know it's true God hates this place
You know it's true he hates this race
Homicide.......Suicide
Hate heals, you should try it sometime
Strive for Peace with acts of war
The beauty of death we all adore
I have no faith distracting me
I know why your prayers will never be answered
God Hates Us All; God Hates Us All
He Fuckin' hates me
Pessimist, Terrorist targeting the next mark
Global chaos feeding on hysteria
Cut throat, slit your wrist, shoot you in the back fair game
Drug abuse, self abuse searching for the next high
Sounds a lot like hell is spreading all the time
I'm waiting for the day the whole world @#%$ dies
I never said I wanted to be God's disciple
I'll never be the one to blindly follow!!!!!
Man made virus infecting the world....
Self-destruct human time bomb
What if there is no God would you think the fuckin' same
Wasting your life in a leap of blind faith
Wake the @#%$ up can't ignore what I say
I got my own philosophy
I hate everyone equally
You can't tear that out of me
No segregation -separation
Just me in my world of enemies
I never said I wanted to be God's disciple
I'll never be the one to blindly follow
I'll never be the one to bear the cross-disciple
I reject this f***in' race!!!!!
I despise this f***in' place!!!!!!
_____________________________
Mister Crowley.......
Tagged as: Christian, Colorado Shootings, DyingChild_65, Evangelical, Fundamentalism, Heavy Metal, Matthew Murray, Mr. Crowley, MySpace, New Life Church, nghtmrchld26, Occult, Pentecostal, Religion, Sarah's Chrstnnghtmr, Ted Haggard, Youth With A Mission, YWAM
