Gaylingual: March 2008: Archives

March 22, 2008

Gay Scientists Isolate Christian Gene & Bishop Bible Babble genre: Gaylingual & Hip-Gnosis & Tongue-In-Cheek & Video-Philes

Nothing like a little levity on Saturday...especially when it comes at the expense of the holier than thou. The following two videos take some oft heard Christian propaganda and give it a gay spin.

In the first video, it's reported that gay scientists are on the hunt for a Christian gene. In the meantime, gay counselors are helping Christians deal with their troubling lifestyle.

In the second video, prominent anti-gay Australian Archbishop Peter Jensen is confronted with numerous Biblical passages that religious leaders seemingly ignore. The Bishop seems unable to explain or discount the various verses.

Surprisingly, during the confrontation, the Bishop decides to tell the male reporter that he finds him "so good looking"...at which point the reporter reminds the Archbishop of the very Leviticus verse that is used to condemn gays...just in case the Archbishop has his sights on a sinful romp with the reporter.

Thank goodness we have men like the Archbishop to interpret the Bible for us. However, after watching this exchange, it looks like the Archbishop needs a refresher course in Biblical content. Sadly, he's not the only Christian who has a selective knowledge of the Bible.

Gay Scientists Isolate Christian Gene

Bishop Bible Babble

Tagged as: Archbishop Peter Jensen, Bible, Gay, Humor, Leviticus, LGBT, Religion, Same-Sex Marriage

Daniel DiRito | March 22, 2008 | 1:37 PM | link | Comments (0)
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March 21, 2008

Tony Perkins Links Global Warming, Abortion, & Gay Marriage genre: Gaylingual & Hip-Gnosis

I've long believed that religious fanatics have the willingness and the capacity to justify any behavior or action they feel will further their agenda and solidify their authority over their minions. The evidence supporting my belief just grew exponentially.

In the following video, ABC News explores how global warming is viewed by a number of religious leaders and their denominations. The report stems from the declaration signed by current and former leaders of the Southern Baptist Church in which they assert that they have been too timid on addressing global warming. That's the good news.

The bad news is that Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council disagrees with this position. Instead, Perkins argues that those who favor a reduction in global warming are actually seeking to promote abortion and same-sex marriage. Perkins contends that limiting population is an element of climate control and is therefore contrary to the promotion of life and procreation. Rather than focus on Perkins' absurd conflation, I think it makes more sense to explore the motivations that in all likelihood underly it.

After assailing abortion and the gays, Perkins pivots to make the argument that people would be better served to put their energy into preparing themselves spiritually for the end of the world (the rapture or the end of days) instead of championing climate control. I guess Perkins sees humanity like an ant colony in a jar - if our willful actions lead us to outgrow and destroy our planet, the masses should simply soldier on like tireless worker ants.

I find his logic problematic (OK, what logic?) because it suggests that God gave us a brain and the ability to build all that exists in this world...but not the good sense to be prudent stewards in order to preserve and protect it. So I'm left to wonder how we're supposed to know when it's time to stop using our brains and drive the humanity bus willy-nilly off the cliff?

However, if God decides when to end the world, why would we suddenly determine that we knew it was coming and therefore elect to throw caution to the wind? Isn't that rather presumptive and arrogant on our part? What if we're wrong? Isn't it possible that God would see our carelessness as a sin? Further, what right do we have to destroy his creation...on our own timeline?

People like Perkins like to hear themselves pontificate but they rarely take the time to think through the significance of their proclamations. Is God going to reward those leaders and industries that ignored global warming in the pursuit of profit since their efforts will have helped facilitate the end of days? Will Al Gore and those who sought to save the planet be banished to hell because they opposed unbridled profits at the expense of extinguishing the planet?

If so, wouldn't that mean that those who chose to give, like the woman in the parable of the widow's mite, were being punished...while those who chose to take, like the tax collectors seeking to amass more wealth, were being rewarded? How could that be God's plan?

The answer may be found in what has come to be known as the prosperity doctrine, prosperity theology or the prosperity gospel. Essentially, those who promote this version of faith (and there are many well known ministers) argue that God wants his believers to be successful in all they do...including the accumulation of wealth.

I don't know if Tony Perkins is a disciple of this thinking or not; but the contradictions found in his position on global warming better align him with prosperity theology than with the teachings of Jesus Christ.

Taking it a step further, I doubt Perkins plans to suffer in the days that precede the end of the world; otherwise he would have already diminished his focus on the material world in order to allow time to prepare his own soul for the impending rapture.

You see, I contend that men like Perkins have no intention of suffering...though they make their living asking others to do just that...especially if it means pledging to donate a greater share of their income. Men like Perkins worship money and the spoils of capitalism above all else. They view climate control as an impediment to the pursuit of wealth...though they couch their opposition to it as the promotion of life.

Yes, all too often, the lives of Perkins and his ilk are steeped with worldly treasures. My cynicism tells me they are the equivalent of modern day snake oil salesmen. They travel from this conference to that speaking engagement...preaching their version of values...while separating as much coin from the congregation as is humanly possible.

I question the sincerity of leaders who lecture their flocks ad nauseam on the importance of sacrificing for the afterlife in order to receive its many rewards...particularly when they insist upon rewarding themselves handsomely in the here and now...as if there were no tomorrow.

Perhaps I just don't know my commandments...especially the one that states - Thou shalt use the name of the Lord thy God when one taketh without guilt.

The following video clip includes the original ABC report along with several insertions of commentary in the form of text added by the individual that uploaded it to YouTube. It is somewhat distracting but it doesn't prevent the viewer from following the original ABC News report. Perhaps as payment for enduring the editorializing, they include a snippet from the TV show Family Guy at the end of the clip. I thought it was funny so hopefully it will make you chuckle.

Tagged as: Abortion, Al Gore, Climate Change, Climate Control, Commandments, End Of Days, Evangelicals, Family Guy, Family Research Council, Gay Marriage, Global Warming, God, Jesus, LGBT, Population Control, Prosperity Gospel, Prosperity Theology, Rapture, Religion, Same-Sex Marriage, Southern Baptists, Tony Perkins

Daniel DiRito | March 21, 2008 | 3:42 PM | link | Comments (2)
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March 10, 2008

Oklahoma State Rep. Sally Kern: Gays Worse Than Terrorists genre: Gaylingual & Hip-Gnosis & Little Red Ribbon-Hood & Tongue-In-Cheek & Video-Philes

I'm always amazed when the religious right seeks to characterize the pursuit of gay equality as a militant homosexual agenda. I'm especially amused when the rhetoric by which they put forth this argument is laced with the words we normally associate with the very militancy they seek to attach to the gay community.

In the following video, Oklahoma Representative Sally Kern waxes on about the threat posed by homosexuals. According to Kern, homosexuality poses a greater danger than terrorism. Just listen to the angry and confrontational imagery laced throughout her speech. When Kern states that she is in jeopardy by just making her comments, what kind of jeopardy is she alluding to? This is fear mongering at its worst. Sadly, these are the words we hear so often from those who claim to be Christians.

Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern

As is so often the case with bigotry, Kern's remarks are rife with exaggerations and misinformation. Kern tells us she was a teacher for twenty years and that schools are no longer teaching facts and knowledge. It sickens me to imagine the curriculum Kern and her ilk would favor. Thank goodness she's no longer teaching. We can only hope that her political career comes to an end as well.

Honestly, when I hear the assertion that no society that embraced homosexuality has survived, I want to puke. I could just as easily assert that no society that has embraced a monetary system has survived. There isn't a scintilla of evidence that any society failed due to an acceptance of homosexuality...unless of course one chooses to cherry pick from the Biblical account of Sodom and Gomorrah.

I find it amusing that homosexuality is given the distinction of being the preeminent means by which sexual behavior can destroy a society. Somehow, the Kern's of the world seem to ignore God's supposed admonitions against adultry, premarital sex, or any other heterosexual indiscretion. I wonder what Kern thinks about the growing prevalence of pegging. Of course I'm sure she would blame it on gays.

Rather than rant on about the ramblings of another run of the mill right winger, I decided to grant her inane fears the credence they warrant.

The following is my version of the top ten goals of militant homosexuals.

Number Ten:

Organize local groups of gay men and women to form "Queer Make Over Militias" designed to convert and enlist heterosexuals who are style challenged.

Number Nine:

Align with the growing metrosexual population to form an underground alliance to chase rural right wing Republicans away from major metropolitan areas. (Think pink robes and hoods from a Dave Chappelle skit)

Number Eight:

To take advantage of the outrage at Janet Jackson's Super bowl wardrobe malfunction, gays are quietly seeking legislation to ban all beer commercials that objectify women's breasts and promote a stereotypical heterosexual male persona.

Number Seven:

Distribute campaign door hangers on election day that contain gay inspired victory party planning tips complete with recipes and decorating tips.

Number Six:

Use Bill O'Reilly's confusion about the differences between a loofah and a falafel on a stick as an opportunity to ban the use of soap on a rope from all public shower facilities.

Number Five:

Establish a non-profit to donate tea sets to all preschool aged boys.

Number Four:

Begin marketing a new doll called G.I. JoAnne...one that morphs from a dainty debutante into an androgynous action hero when her American Graffiti poodle skirt is transformed into a paramilitary parachute.

Number Three:

Promote a high school curriculum which requires that all students take a home economics course on using springform pans to bake the perfect cheesecake.

Number Two:

Establish a nationwide ex-gay ministry that is actually a clandestine gay dating service for closeted christians and discredited evangelical ministers.

Number One:

Produce and promote a blockbuster film titled Jesus Camp - The Sequel...a sassy musical portraying the tribulations of Jesus, Mary, & Joseph, a polyamorous trio played by Matthew Broderick, Harvey Fierstein, and Nathan Lane.

Tagged as: Bible, Bigotry, Evangelical, Gay Bashing, Homophobia, Humor, LGBT, Religion, Religious Extremism, Sally Kern

Daniel DiRito | March 10, 2008 | 11:32 AM | link | Comments (3)
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March 1, 2008

Logo's Big Gay Sketch: "The Facts Of Life" Parody genre: Gaylingual & Tongue-In-Cheek & Video-Philes

It's always fun to look back at the programs we watched when we were younger. It's even more fun to see them parodied...especially when the spoof adds a gay twist.

Logo, MTV's gay and lesbian themed network recently took on a popular show from the 80's, The Facts of Life, in its Big Gay Sketch Show. When the show first aired, I'm sure there were many of us who saw the gay undertones...what with an all girls school, an unmarried housemother, and Jo the tomboy...who Blair referred to as everything short of the term "lesbian".

Well fear not, the Big Gay Sketch kicks open the closet door in the following video. If you're like me, you'll be rolling on the floor when you first see and hear the Mrs. Garrett character in action. Take note of her hair and especially her eyebrows and think back to the actual show.

Anyone who fails to understand the inspirations that underlie many drag queen personae should gain some insight from seeing the Mrs. Garrett character in this sketch. I would equate the creation of a drag queen identity with the drawing of a caricature. You look for notable features and unique traits and you exaggerate them and, voila, you have yourself one hell of a drag queen. It's truly an overlooked talent.

Tagged as: Blair, Comedy, Drag Queen, Facts of Life, Humor, Jo, LGBT, Logo, Mrs. Garrett, MTV, Natalie, The Big Gay Sketch, Tootie

Daniel DiRito | March 1, 2008 | 11:10 AM | link | Comments (2)
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