Top Ten Reasons GOP Voters Prefer Fred Thompson genre: Polispeak & Tongue-In-Cheek

Smokin Fred Thompson

GOP voters are anxiously awaiting the presidential candidacy of Fred Thompson. In response to a Thought Theater survey, the following are the top ten reasons they prefer Fred Thompson be the Republican nominee:

10. If you’re going to tell American voters tall tales, you need to nominate the tallest candidate.

9. GOP voters expect their politicians to tell them what they want to hear…and they insist that the nominee is able to execute that task well and with flair.

8. GOP voters are skittish about men like John McCain…they prefer that their presidential candidates either have no military experience or that they know how to fake it.

7. He has experience with partisan presidential politics…he starred in The Hunt For Red October…which should translate well into a red November.

6. Rudy Giuliani brought law and order to New York City…but Fred Thompson brought Law & Order to every American home.

5. He would do a much better job with natural disasters like Katrina…he learned the dangers of wind and water when filming Cape Fear.

4. Actors make the best GOP candidates…you give them a script, they memorize it, and they repeat it over and over again.

3. He won’t be afraid to continue the Bush administration’s torture policy…he’s already threatened to give Michael Moore electro-shock therapy in Cuba.

2. Mitt Romney may have Ronald Reagan’s hair…but Fred Thompson can be counted on to continue the Reagan tradition of having only one wife at a time.

1. Since the Clinton presidency, GOP voters want to be sure that their president prefers to smoke his cigars.

Daniel DiRito | June 1, 2007 | 1:05 PM
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1 On June 4, 2007 at 10:29 AM, sarah sawyer wrote —

Fred Dalton Thompson is the man for our times.
He will receive the Republican nomination
for president and he will be elected in 2008.
When he officially announces on July 4th,
this nation will witness a nosedive in the
polls for all the Republican and Democrat frontrunners. When FDT talks, voters on both
sides listen. He like Reagan will bring down a wall, but this wall will be that which separates and divides this country. Eyes will be opened,
ears unstopped, and truth will be revealed
as Thompson steps forth and speaks, as he usually does, with a clear voice tinged with "gut real" honesty. Fact is, this man among all those running for office has
the kind of southern grit that conservatives and democrats both appreciate--that which Americans recognize as "true grit."
This talk about "fire in the belly" that he needs to win the nomination and the election
will ignite when he needs it. When he speaks,
he means what he says and says what he means.
He walks straight and talks straight, meaning
he is "balanced" and well alligned in his
political moorings.
He is firmly anchored in his soul and he moves in his body with altruistic pupose in his heart.
For these and many other reasons, the tall Tennessean will be our next president, and like all cinematic heroes, he will arrive just in time! Come election time
this nation will know that
which conservatives already know: Fred Dalton Thompson was born for such a time as this.

2 On June 5, 2007 at 9:17 AM, CAFKIA wrote —

Politics is all about sincerity. Once you learn to fake that, you have it whipped. Fred can fake sincerity with the best of them. He will do as told by his handlers and continue driving the nation in the general direction of irrelevance at best, total destruction at worst. If Fred truly believes in anything but Fred, he has found ways to keep it secret from several tens of thousands of his fellow Tennesseans, including me. He would probably make an acceptable dog-catcher except that he can't really drive a pickup truck.


3 On June 12, 2007 at 8:36 PM, Skeptic8 wrote —

CAFKIA; You got it. The Reps need an actor to plaster over the depredations of the Kleptons who are runnin things. That's why there was talk of changin' the Constitution to run an Austrian. Now they've got one with no porn pics. Ronnie was ideal; he had his skills when Alzheimer had everything else. Yhis will be FDT's best paying job.

4 On June 30, 2007 at 9:20 AM, John wrote —

People can run their mouths about the people that think will do them wrong. Democrats are like that. The, the democrats wants a man because he is black and therefor will be the first so called black to win the seat of the president.
Democrats wants a woman to win so they can boast, " helped to elect the first woman as president.
Democrats do not listen to all that is said, even when it is said by those they want to win. Most of Americas poor workers are themselves democrats. Am I right so far? Yes I am right. Why don't the poorest or the poor really listen when top democrats speak? Reise taxes, they say. "Discontinue the tax break fior the richest Americans." They say, and the poor workers follow along on every word spoken by people like Senator Clinton and Obama.
Don't you people realize that included in this increase in your taxes will be an increase in cigarett taxes and gasoline taxes. Your fuel oil that heats some of your homes will increase in taxes.
You have to really listen to every word they say to you. You have to turn on the TV and watch C-SPAN and C-SPAN 2. You will learn a lot if you really want to know what is being fed to you by them.
\Together, the American Voice was heard when Congress wanted to pass the Illegal Immagration Bill. We listened and we desided that we did not like what we were hearing. Some of what I learned came from people like Senator Sessions and Senator Vetter. From people like these I learned that Democrats and The President had no intention of increasing our Border Agents by 18,000 guards. What they really plained was to see that we had a total of 18,000 guard on the border. 18,000 guards of which we now already have almost that amount now as I write these words.
Politicans don't always want us to know everything. If we knew it all that they would have a really tuff time passing any bill that We, The People did not want. They do not want you, the Voter to realize that you are their boss and when we all speak up, our voices are heard, LOUD AND CLEAR.

5 On July 1, 2007 at 2:01 PM, Richard wrote —

Sarah sounds like the same person that writes the

The post there have called McCain's campaign doa and gushes about Thompson.

Thought Theater at Blogged

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