God Puts The Squeeze On Richard Roberts genre: Hip-Gnosis

The Giving Finger?

I just love watching "fundies" use god to explain and justify their every action...whether it be good or bad. For those who haven't heard, Richard Roberts, the son of Oral Roberts, now reports that he resigned his position as President of Oral Roberts University because god told him he must (on Thanksgiving Day no less).

Apparently god wasn't speaking loud enough or Roberts was ignoring him while he and his family were milking the University to enable their lavish life of excess...or perhaps god was simply too busy at the time to tell him to stop. And by all means we can't have expected Roberts to do the right thing of his own accord. How would a man of god know the difference between right and wrong without proper consultation from the heavenly father? It just goes to show that heaven is understaffed and it's leading to all sorts of improprieties and numerous lost souls here on earth.

Richard Roberts told students at Oral Roberts University Wednesday that he did not want to resign as president of the scandal-plagued evangelical school, but he did so because God insisted.

Roberts told students in the university's chapel that God told him on Thanksgiving that he should resign the next day.

Roberts said he resisted the idea, and that "every ounce of my flesh said 'no,'" but he prayed over the decision with his wife, Lindsay Roberts, and his father, Oral Roberts, and decided to step down.

Roberts has previously said that God told him to deny the allegations. The week the lawsuit was filed, Richard Roberts said that God told: "We live in a litigious society. Anyone can get mad and file a lawsuit against another person whether they have a legitimate case or not. This lawsuit ... is about intimidation, blackmail and extortion."

Apparently god is one savvy attorney as well as an omniscient and all knowing creator. Given sufficient time to review the case against Roberts, god apparently decided Roberts lacked a plausible defense. I can't wait for god to impose a dollar amount to settle the lawsuit...and if past experience holds true, I'm sure god will insist Roberts deliver one of those tearful tell all confessions.

You see, without the oft seen mea culpa, how would Roberts be able to continue to live off of the donations of those who place far too much faith in mere mortals...manipulative mortals who have learned that one can do anything one wants as long as one attributes it to god's will?

Did I mention I'm in training to be a minister? And by the way, don't blame me, it was god's idea.

Tagged as: Hypocrisy, Oral Roberts, Oral Roberts University, Religion, Richard Roberts

Daniel DiRito | November 28, 2007 | 1:22 PM
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Comments

1 On November 28, 2007 at 4:14 PM, Mason wrote —

Im laughing so hard I almost threw up. Im not sure whats funnier the commentary or the spoof on the statue! Brilliant!!!

2 On December 1, 2007 at 2:33 PM, Daniel wrote —

Mason,

Thanks for dropping by Thought Theater. I'm glad you approve.

Take care,

Daniel

Thought Theater at Blogged

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Apparently god is one savvy attorney as well as an omniscient and all knowing creator. Given sufficient time to review the case against Roberts, god apparently decided Roberts lacked a plausible defense and forced him to resign. [Read More]

Tracked on November 28, 2007 2:51 PM


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