Tongue-In-Cheek: July 2008: Archives

July 31, 2008

A Chris Crocker Redux - Leave Barack Alone! genre: Polispeak & Tongue-In-Cheek

If you spend most of your time under a rock, you may have missed Chris Crocker's tearful YouTube video defending Britney Spears from her detractors. If you've seen the video, you might have a grin on your face just thinking about it.

With the McCain campaigns recent release of an ad attempting to connect Senator Obama with the likes of Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, Slate had the clever idea to dub over the Crocker video and offer its own impassioned defense of Barack Obama. Kudos to Slate...this is good stuff.

You can view the original Chris Crocker video at the above link. The Slate video and the McCain ad appear below.

Slate - Leave Barack Alone!

McCain Attack Ad

Tagged as: 2008 Election, Barack Obama, Chris Crocker, Humor, John McCain, Slate

Daniel DiRito | July 31, 2008 | 2:48 PM | link | Comments (0)
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July 29, 2008

The Daily Show: Teaching Elaine Donnelly The Meaning Of "DADT" genre: Gaylingual & Tongue-In-Cheek

In the following video, The Daily Show's Jon Stewart has some fun at the expense of wingnut warrior Elaine Donnelly. Donnelly, rabidly anti-gay, recently testified before a congressional committee reviewing the merits of the military's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy on gay service members.

Needless to say, Donnelly's brash banter is garden variety bigotry...or in this case one might call her a cockeyed crackpot. I'm always amazed by the virtual obsession that is displayed by religious ideologues with regard to all things sexual. Perhaps if we offered them free counseling, they might eventually realize that they suffer from an inordinate focus on the naughty parts.

Unfortunately, the fact that many of these Christian crusaders view sex as sin undoubtedly exacerbates the problem. In the end, me thinks the lady doth protest too much. I fear Donnelly is unaware of the alternate meaning of DADT...the one that explains her pitiful performance..."Dumb Ass...Do Tell?!"

Tagged as: Comedy, DADT, Elaine Donnelly, Gay, Humor, Jon Stewart, LGBT, Military, The Daily Show

Daniel DiRito | July 29, 2008 | 7:37 PM | link | Comments (2)
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The Onion: Mind Games - Half Alive Or Half Way Dead? genre: Tongue-In-Cheek

In the following videos, The Onion delivers reports on two "mind-boggling" studies. The first suggests that young employees are oblivious to office politics and the second suggests that Alzheimer's patients are unaware of their illness.

You get to decide if it's better to be able to tune out one's environment voluntarily or if it's better when it happens with a total lack of awareness.

In my opinion, there are situations when each could be positive or negative. The former works well if the environment will allow it (not likely in an office full of crazed busy bodies). The latter works like a charm if your goal is to literally check out for a while (in this case you get to be the busy body driving everyone else crazy).

Now if someone is researching the means to switch back and forth between the two...while still maintaining one's sanity...I just might sign up to participate in that study.

Study Finds Young Employees Are Tuned Out

Study Finds Alzheimer's Patients Think They're Tuned In

Tagged as: Alzheimer, Comedy, Employment, Humor, Office Politics, The Onion

Daniel DiRito | July 29, 2008 | 4:43 PM | link | Comments (0)
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July 21, 2008

Christian Goals, Super Bowls, Swimming Holes, & Switching Roles genre: Hip-Gnosis & Polispeak & Tongue-In-Cheek

Janet-Jackson-Superbowl.jpg

Hold onto your hats...I sense a boycott's a brewin'! Yes, the American Family Association better step up and call upon outraged Americans to stand up support family values. Why, you ask? Well, because an appeals court has just overturned the $550,000 fine levied against CBS for forcing America's unsuspecting families to witness a traumatizing frame or two of Janet Jackson's almost fully exposed breast.

In a decision that clears CBS of any wrongdoing for airing the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show that featured Janet Jackson's infamous "wardrobe malfunction," a federal appeals court overturned the $550,000 fine that the Federal Communications Commission levied against the station, calling the fine arbitrary and capricious.

The decision was handed down Monday by a three-judge panel of the United States Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit, which found that the fine was unfair because the commission, in imposing it, deliberately strayed from its practice of exempting fleeting indecency in broadcast programming from punishment.

The controversy surrounding the incident yielded a record-breaking 540,000 complaints to the commission in the weeks following the show.

I don't know about anyone else, but I find myself longing for the good old days...the one's when evangelicals could shout jump and George Bush would get on a plane and rush to Washington to save a woman, in a vegetative state, from the evildoers. I miss the days when a half million family values voters could cause a knee-jerk reaction by a "Christian friendly" government agency.

Sadly, ever since our dear leader sat idle for four days while New Orleans became a toxic public swimming pool, we seem to have lost our zeal for all things pompous and pious...and that really troubles me. Why should a little old flood (not "The Flood", mind you) be allowed to spell the end of a conservative Christian crusade against all things secular?

What's the world coming to? It won't be long and scientists are going to succeed in shutting creationism out of our children's public school curriculum. No doubt Ford will soon announce the production of a rainbow colored car. How long will it be before McDonald's starts putting Tinky Winky dolls in their Happy Meals? When will Heinz start selling Kweer Ketchup? Who will battle the likes of Marriott - insuring that they don't sell pornographic movies to ministers having affairs with hookers and doing lines of coke in their hotel rooms?

Yes, the times they are a changin'! Where will it end? We've gone from leveling a huge fine against CBS for "allowing" a black woman to expose her breast, all the way to having a black man being celebrated for leading his pasty white patriot opponent in the race for the presidency. I fear it's just a matter of time before white folk are pickin' cotton. Oh, the humanity!

Tagged as: AFA, American Family Association, Boycott, CBS, Evangelical, Family Values, FCC, Ford, George W. Bush, Janet Jackson, Katrina, Marriott, McDonald's, New Orleans, Pornography, Race, Religion, Super Bowl, Terri Schiavo, Tinky Winky

Daniel DiRito | July 21, 2008 | 5:32 PM | link | Comments (0)
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July 18, 2008

FRC: Traditional Marriage Is Faceless, Shapeless, & Androgynous? genre: Gaylingual & Hip-Gnosis & Tongue-In-Cheek

The Family Research Council is a never ending source of amusement. Unfortunately they are also rabidly anti-gay and a constant supporter of measures to deny homosexuals equal rights. To that end, FRC is a major player in the battle to pass a constitutional amendment (Prop. 8) to ban same-sex marriage in California.

The following image and hyperbole were included in a recent FRC Action Update designed to inform and incite the faithful.

WA08G20_NORMAL.jpg

Homosexual Activists Fight Free Speech

The California marriage amendment cleared its final hurdle yesterday when the same court that imposed same-sex "marriage" on the state agreed to let voters decide whether or not to overturn its ruling. In one swift, unanimous motion, the California Supreme Court refused even to hear the lawsuit brought by homosexual groups which claimed Proposition 8 was "legally flawed." Meanwhile, thousands of same-sex couples are scurrying to "marry" before voters determine the fate of those unions this fall. Local business owners-turned family advocates are doing all they can to ensure the honeymoon with counterfeit marriage is short-lived-and homosexual activists are attacking their right to speak out. Doug Manchester, a devout Catholic who donated to the ballot initiative, is the new target of Californians Against Hate. In a fundraising letter, Hate head Fred Karger called for a boycott of Manchester's Grand Hyatt and Grand Del Mar hotels. Robert Hoehn's gift to preserve marriage not only landed his Carlsbad car dealership on the boycott list but drew protests at his lots. We applaud these men for refusing to be intimidated and encourage Californians not to back down in the face of those who refuse to accept democratic rule.

The alert contains the standard fare offered by FRC. The gist of the message is that mean and nasty militant homosexuals are attempting to shove same-sex marriage down the throats of Californians and their tactics include every effort to silence upstanding Christians while flaunting their unholy marriages...which will undoubtedly lead to the demise of our society...yada, yada.

Suffice it to say that this is boiler plate pabulum used to rile the flock and separate them from some of their cash. In fact, I'm of the opinion that many of these people take great comfort in the cookie cutter mentality they adopt. It allows them to paint the "enemy" with a broad brush and it helps them avoid the confusion that comes from a realization that the human condition is far more gray than it is black and white. In other words, their beliefs are fixed and regularly communicated to them in action updates.

Rather than reiterate more of my disdain for FRC, I decided to create the following graphic to poke fun at the block headed, seemingly androgynous character found in the FRC graphic. I have no idea if the image has some larger meaning or if it was included for expediency. Regardless, as my graphic posits, it's an example of the blank slate, lock step, mind set that is so often adopted en masse by the faithful.

On the other hand, is there any doubt that the Pillsbury dough boy and the Michelin man make a cute couple? Then again, I could be wrong about their orientations. At the very least, unlike the composite "FRC he/she", they still have their own identities.

Prop8TakingAStand.jpg

Tagged as: California, Family Research Council, FRC, Gay, Humor, LGBT, Proposition 8, Same-Sex Marriage, Supreme Court, Tony Perkins

Daniel DiRito | July 18, 2008 | 5:30 PM | link | Comments (1)
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Friday Funny: Rapture Worries genre: Hip-Gnosis & Tongue-In-Cheek

While many Christians believe in the Rapture...that moment at which all Christians will simultaneously rise into heaven...I fear that the logistical preparations are woefully lacking. The following video provides a basic primer on the many safety concerns that Christians have yet to address. We can only hope that a committee will be organized to confront these concerns.

After all, I would hate to think that any of my holier than thou friends would be cheated from eternity because they failed to foresee the many risks associated with millions of individuals rising to heaven in unison.

With that in mind, I do have one suggestion for my Rapture ready friends. In order to promote the safe transport of all Christians into heaven, I propose that all air traffic controllers be atheists. Having Christian air traffic controllers could facilitate a tragedy of untold proportions as they would undoubtedly rise to heaven with their fellow Christians which would leave their control positions unmanned.

Then again, my suggestion could be a grand scheme to allow the followers of the antichrist to infiltrate the ranks of air traffic controllers and participate in a Rapture rebellion designed to pluck unsuspecting Christians out of the sky.

Actually, the more I think about it, the more I suspect that the Bible has anticipated all of these concerns and Christian scholars have already found the relevant scriptural instruction to carefully prepare an evacuation manual designed to counteract the diabolical intentions of the non-believers.

Tagged as: End of Days, Faith, Humor, Rapture, Religion

Daniel DiRito | July 18, 2008 | 9:50 AM | link | Comments (0)
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July 17, 2008

The Colbert Report: Solving America's Problems With A Placebo genre: Econ-Recon & Tongue-In-Cheek & Video-Philes

Stephen Colbert expands upon the twenty percent of Americans who think everything is going well and suggests that we need a placebo to change the negative psychology of the other eighty percent who just can't see the pot of gold that sits at the end of the rainbow.

In the following segment of The Word, Colbert implores George Bush and John McCain to intervene in order to correct this psychological deficiency...and he thinks a sugar pill is just what the doctor ordered. Yes, Colbert contends that if those people losing their homes to foreclosure would just change their mind set, they would see that all is well in their world.

Colbert has only one problem with the strategy of the president and John McCain. He insists that they avoid telling us that the placebo won't really solve our problems. As Colbert notes, if we're going to buy into the benefits of a sugar pill, we should at least be told that it's the best thing to come along since sliced bread.

Tagged as: Gas Prices, George W. Bush, Home Foreclosures, John McCain, Placebo, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report

Daniel DiRito | July 17, 2008 | 12:43 PM | link | Comments (0)
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The Daily Show: Who Rides The Short Bus? genre: Gaylingual & Tongue-In-Cheek & Video-Philes

Have you ever wondered who makes up that small segment of American society that believes everything is hunky dory? According to the latest surveys, less than 20 percent of Americans believe the nation is headed in the right direction. In the following Daily Show offering, Jason Jones sets out to find some of the people who comprise this constituency.

It doesn't take Jones long to find J.P. "Gus" Godsey, author of How To Be Happy Everyday, and the man Jones believes is driving the "short bus". As it turns out, Godsey is convinced that everything in America is glorious...and then Godsey proceeds to prove the contention of Jones' second interviewee, Deepak Chopra, who contends that happiness can easily be the result of ignorance or denial.

Godsey then offers some of the suggestions from his book that are sure to make us happy. They include chasing an ice cream truck, buying a pen, and sweeping the front porch. Next, he offers one of his real world solutions. Godsey's goals is to take back the word "gay" and restore gaiety to the countless heterosexuals who remember it fondly from their childhood...but are no longer able to use the word to describe the utter joy they feel about the world.

I could be wrong, but I have a feeling that we'd be better off if the occupants of the short bus were transported to a special school for those who have lost touch with reality. In fact, it would make me very happy (I'm already gay) to drive them there myself.

Tagged as: Deepak Chopra, J.P. "Gus" Godsey, Jason Jones, Jon Stewart, LGBT, The Daily Show

Daniel DiRito | July 17, 2008 | 11:56 AM | link | Comments (13)
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July 16, 2008

JibJab: Election 2008 - Time For Some Campaignin' genre: Polispeak & Tongue-In-Cheek

No doubt about it, this is an election year...and that means that the folks at JibJab have released their latest offering of political parody. With an all star cast of those leaving the White House, those seeking it, those who once occupied it, and those who still think they should be the nominee to run for it, it's safe to say that everybody whose anybody in the politics of 2008 has a role in this episode.

The title of the new JibJab video is Time For Some Campaignin'. I could be wrong, but the last time I checked we entered full campaign mode well over a year ago. Perhaps that means it's time for a laugh or two.

Tagged as: 2008 Election, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Comedy, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, Hillary Clinton, Humor, JibJab, John McCain

Daniel DiRito | July 16, 2008 | 7:34 AM | link | Comments (0)
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July 15, 2008

The Daily Show On Iran's Emerging Photoshop Threat genre: Tongue-In-Cheek & Video-Philes

The Daily Show's John Oliver provides an in-depth expose on Iran's devastating ability to increase the number of missiles it launched in a recent test through the use of photoshop. As such, it would appear that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad now has the capability to put Israel out of existence...albeit only by manipulating a jpeg map image.

Yes, it appears that Iran has learned to use basic computer software...and that signals an expanding threat from one of the nations included in George Bush's Axis of Evil. Oliver, mouthing the neocon meme, concludes that we have no choice but to invade Iran.

Unfortunately, that may have to wait until Oliver stops singing and dancing to a Rick Astley tune and is able to convince Jon Stewart to stop focusing on his photoshopped vagina.

Tagged as: Axis of Evil, Comedy, George Bush, Humor, Iran, John Oliver, Jon Stewart, Photoshop, The Daily Show

Daniel DiRito | July 15, 2008 | 2:54 PM | link | Comments (0)
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The Onion: "No-Values Voters" Are Dissatisfied With Candidates genre: Tongue-In-Cheek & Video-Philes

In the following video, The Onion suggests that there is a constituency group, "No-Values Voters", who seek a candidate with absolutely no soul. Their objective is to elect a candidate who has the total lack of moral fiber they prefer.

One can draw two inferences from this satirical piece. First, do politicians ever have the good of the public as their objective or are they simply seeking the power they perceive comes with holding political office? Second, are there really any values voters...or are all voters primarily seeking the ability to impose their beliefs on everyone else?

Value, by definition, is a relative worth. In other words, what holds worth to one individual may be meaningless to another. Perhaps that's the ultimate message being delivered in this latest iteration of The Onion. What it instructs about the nature of politics and elections is open to debate. In the end, isn't the notion of values just an elusive construct to make us feel better about ourselves?

Tagged as: 2008 Election, Election, Humor, Satire, The Onion, Values

Daniel DiRito | July 15, 2008 | 10:06 AM | link | Comments (0)
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July 12, 2008

Jim Gaffigan's Musings On Religion genre: Tongue-In-Cheek & Video-Philes

I first saw Jim Gaffigan on Letterman and thought he was a funny guy. When I read the title of this video clip, indicating it was about religion, I suspected I was in for a treat.

His take on Jesus and Catholics is a hoot. I especially like his, "oh no you didn't, I'm offended voice". It has that holier than thou ring to it and reminds me of those times when I've witnessed a religious person feign outrage when someone made a religious joke. Perhaps it's just me and my twisted enjoyment of all things sacrilegious.

Tagged as: Catholicism, Comedy, Humor, Jesus, Jim Gaffigan, Pope, Religion

Daniel DiRito | July 12, 2008 | 9:34 AM | link | Comments (0)
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July 11, 2008

Friday Funny: Dashboard Jesus genre: Hip-Gnosis & Tongue-In-Cheek & Video-Philes

How about a Friday afternoon chuckle? I especially like the good sister's Aussie accent.

Tagged as: Comedy, Faith, Humor, Jesus, Nun, Religion

Daniel DiRito | July 11, 2008 | 2:47 PM | link | Comments (0)
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July 8, 2008

Mo Rocca: Hedda Lettuce's Tips On Becoming Cindy McCain genre: Tongue-In-Cheek & Video-Philes

First it was Peppermint teaching us how to become Michelle Obama. Now Mo enlists renowned drag queen Hedda Lettuce in helping him transform a wanna-be into Cindy McCain.

If forced to decide which "switch" came the closest to exemplifying one of the two women who will become the First Lady, I'd have to choose Peppermint's rendition of Michelle Obama. I hate to say it, but the Cindy McCain knock off looked a little too frumpy in her snappy, though sagging, red suit. Besides, I like candy better than salad...if you know what I mean. Sorry Hedda.

While were on the subject of drag queens, take a moment to check out this posting on how to select a drag name complete with a list of savory food related drag names...and this posting with a list of drag names with a medical theme.

Tagged as: 2008 Election, Cindy McCain, Comedy, Drag Names, Drag Queens, First Lady, Hedda Lettuce, Humor, Michelle Obama, Mo Rocca, Peppermint

Daniel DiRito | July 8, 2008 | 7:11 PM | link | Comments (0)
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Bruno Gets Pinned In Arkansas? genre: Gaylingual & Tongue-In-Cheek

bruno.jpg

Sacha Baron Cohen, aka Ali G, Borat, and Bruno, is apparently in full flim-flam mode...this time as a cage match wrestler in Arkansas. Cohen's next movie will feature Bruno, the flamboyant Austrian homosexual. Bruno has been known to travel to less than welcoming venues to stir things up...and he apparently succeeded by duping wrestling fans into witnessing what might be better described as a round of pin the tail...of your wrestling partner.

The unsuspecting audience who turned up for the Blue Collar Brawlin' event, lured by the promise of $1 beer, expected a night of old fashioned fisticuffs.

What they got was two men stripping down to their underwear, kissing and "rubbing one another", according to local police.

The men - believed to be actors - were then forced to run for their lives as the 1,600-strong crowd pelted them with beer and chairs.

A spokesman for Baron Cohen declined to say whether he was behind the prank.

But the comedy star is currently in the US filming undercover as his latest creation, Bruno, a camp Austrian fashion reporter. A Bruno film is due in cinemas later this year.

Posters for Blue Collar Brawlin' promised: "Hot Chicks, Cold Beer, Hardcore Fights" and were accompanied by pictures of a scantily clad woman.

Organisers of the event had invited police to attend and tipped them off that a character named "Straight Dave" would goad a planted audience member into the ring for a fight, only to end up in a "romantic embrace" similar to the one between Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell in the film Talladega Nights.

The man-on-man display "went right up to the line" of the city's morality laws, Sgt Holland said.

Bruno also duped a former Mossad agent and a Palestinian academic into a spoof interview on the Middle East conflict, asking them to explain the difference between Hamas and hummus.

If you'd like to see Bruno in action, you can link to video clips of him interviewing a pastor who offers reparative therapy to gays here, cheerleading at a football game and interviewing one of the players in Alabama here, at a barn dance in Georgia here, and talking about music with Christians here.

I've included a copy of the poster used to advertise the event below. As I looked at the image, I couldn't help but think that the "positioning" of the two wrestlers was intentional and funny to those who were in on the gag...but not obvious enough, to the unsuspecting wrestling fan, to give away the scam.

FortSmithBruno.jpg

Tagged as: Ali G, Arkansas, Blue Collar Brawlin', Borat, Bruno, Comedy, Fort Smith, Gay, Humor, LGBT, Sacha Baron Cohen

Daniel DiRito | July 8, 2008 | 5:39 PM | link | Comments (0)
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July 6, 2008

Eddie Izzard: On Creation, Jesus, & Noah's Arc genre: Hip-Gnosis & Tongue-In-Cheek & Video-Philes

I like Eddie Izzard. There is something very down to earth about his comedy. It has what I would call that "duh" practicality factor...a very simple view of the world if you will. In the following videos, he offers...

Tagged as: Comedy, Creationism, Dinosaurs, Eddie Izzard, God, Humor, Noah's Arc, Religion

Daniel DiRito | July 6, 2008 | 3:51 PM | link | Comments (0)
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The Onion: Bush Tours America - Surveys Damage Caused By His Presidency genre: Polispeak & Tongue-In-Cheek & Video-Philes

The following video is destined to be an Onion classic. While it is offered as satire to make us laugh, it will certainly hit home for millions of Americans. I suspect that the Bush presidency will be scrutinized for...

Tagged as: Bush Administration, Bush Presidency, George W. Bush, Humor, Satire, The Onion

Daniel DiRito | July 6, 2008 | 9:31 AM | link | Comments (0)
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July 4, 2008

Totally Gay...For America genre: Gaylingual & Tongue-In-Cheek & Video-Philes

Since the 4th. of July is a day for celebrating all things American, it only seems appropriate to post the following video. After all, expressing one's patriotism, like expressing one's love for a spouse, shouldn't be restricted on the basis...

Tagged as: America, Gay, Humor, July 4th, LGBT, Music, Satire, USA

Daniel DiRito | July 4, 2008 | 3:15 PM | link | Comments (0)
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July 2, 2008

Mo Rocca: Peppermint's Tips On Becoming Michelle Obama genre: Tongue-In-Cheek & Video-Philes

OK, Mo's gone off the deep end...which means he's moving into election mode. In the following video, Mo begins by pointing out that the wives of both presidential candidates are beautiful women. From there, he posits that millions of...

Tagged as: Divine, Drag, Drag Queens, Humor, John Waters, Michelle Obama, Mo Rocca, Peppermint

Daniel DiRito | July 2, 2008 | 11:00 PM | link | Comments (0)
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A Tale Of Big Hats, Big Spats, And Big Macs genre: Tongue-In-Cheek

Remember Devo? Well they're back in the news...but not as a result of a musical renaissance. It seems that McDonald's recently introduced an American Idol happy meal figure that has some of the characteristics that made the band so...

Tagged as: 80's, American Idol, Devo, Humor, Jocko Homo, McDonald's, Ryan Seacrest

Daniel DiRito | July 2, 2008 | 2:39 PM | link | Comments (0)
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Economic "Stimulus" Checks Effective? genre: Econ-Recon & Hip-Gnosis & Tongue-In-Cheek

Some stories are too good to be true. It appears that the tax rebate checks which were part of the Bush administration's economic stimulus package have been effective...in stimulating the porn industry. An industry research firm reports an increase...

Tagged as: AFA, American Family Association, Economy, Humor, Pornography, Stimulus Package

Daniel DiRito | July 2, 2008 | 10:04 AM | link | Comments (0)
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July 1, 2008

McCain Gives America The Song & Dance Routine? genre: Polispeak & Tongue-In-Cheek & Video-Philes

Oh that Johnny Mac! First he showcased his singing talents with Bomb Iran (video below), an updated rendition of the Beach Boys hit, Barbara Ann. As if that weren't enough, he recently took the big leap from the 60's to...

Tagged as: 2008 Election, Beach Boys, Beastie Boys, Bobby Darin, David Gray, Elton John, GOP, Humor, Iran, John McCain, Kiki Dee, Madonna, Ronald Reagan, Satire, Shiite, Somalia, Sudan, Sunni

Daniel DiRito | July 1, 2008 | 1:52 PM | link | Comments (0)
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The Onion: Miley Cyrus Is A "Limited" Resource? genre: Tongue-In-Cheek & Video-Philes

She's two, two stars in one...but there simply isn't enough of her to go around. Yep, we're talking about Miley Cyrus, the Disney darling turned Vanity Fair vixen. In the following video, The Onion has some fun with Hannah...

Tagged as: Britney Spears, Entertainment, Humor, Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, Paris Hilton, Satire, Teen Idol, The Onion, Vanity Fair

Daniel DiRito | July 1, 2008 | 9:11 AM | link | Comments (0)
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